Ulternative Alster Fan Club

Welcome to a new section to the UAFC site.

Each game, we hope to bring you the ramblings of our travelling support, both at home, and especially away, to give the viewers online, some idea of what they missed at the games. We start this week with someone's recollection of the Border Reivers game at Netherdale. *

Borders v Ulster

This was a special night. A time when everything came together to bring about a result which, to be honest, few of us had forecast. Yes, this was the night that Mike Reid bought us a drink. But more of that anon.

In truth, things began badly. Those of you who have made the cross-country journey to Galashiels in the past will know that one of the few exciting moments at Netherdale, is the horse. Just prior to kick-off, a gentleman dressed as a knight gallops the length of the pitch on a horse to the cheers of the home supporters. This is ,in fact, the only recorded time that Borders fans actually cheer.

But this year, there was no horse. We wondered why not - we debated the question long and hard, and several theories were indeed put forward. Had it gone to the great knacker’s yard in the sky? Had it met Neil Best down an entry on a dark night? Had it been shoed by Roger Wilson? Maybe Fitzy had eaten it.

I think we should be told - but it was a disappointing start to the match.

However, matters soon improved after the referee blew his whistle to commence battle (well, after all, Mark Blair was on their team) For once we had a ref who clamped down on foul play by the opposition rather than just dish out several “final” warnings, and twice during the game we were at a numerical advantage of one. Ulster’s noisy and cheerful supporters sportingly sent the offenders on their way with a kindly chant of “Cheerio, cheerio, cheerio” What a great credit to the sport of rugby we are. Far too nice.

There were a number of incidents during the game which led to much discussion among the crowd. Not least there was Mark Blair’s attempt to punch one of the Ulster players. Now, if you remember, and I’m trying to be diplomatic here, Blair didn’t come across as the brightest star in the sky. I may be unfair, but that was the impression. At Netherdale he only helped add credence to this theory. Surely if you decide to pick a fight with an Ulsterman, you would chose Campbell who is only little. Or perhaps Trimble, who being a Christian would turn the other cheek - meaning you could punch him again. Blair picked on Justin Harrison. I rest my case.

There was also the incident when the ball flew into the stand, hitting a Setanta camera. At first, this might seem no big deal, but don’t forget, at the other end of the camera is a cameraman. Or more precisely - a cameraman’s nose and eye. On behalf of us all, I hope he gets well soon and the bleeding has stopped.

After the game, we followed “The General” into the clubhouse where we saw to our left a bar crammed full of thirsty punters and a huge queue waiting to be served. To our right was the Members Bar - empty except for a barman. We decided the Members Only sign probably did not apply on certain Saturday nights and walked in, to be served without any comment.

But then, in walked President Ian and Mike Reid. Mike spotted us among the hordes of … well, nobody actually and said “ This is the Members Bar” Gaz answered “ Don’t worry, I’ll sign you in no problem”

I think Mike saw the joke - well anyway he bought us all a drink. Mind you next time it would be great if he’d buy us one each.

The evening ended with President Ian leaning across the table saying “ Do you know what?” We leant forward expectantly to hear some fascinating scandal or inside story. Maybe Ulster had signed Dan Carter as cover for Humphreys, maybe we were going to the Maze, maybe the world was flat after all. The President put us out of our misery;

“ Do you remember thon horse they used to have here? Well it was called Frumps.”

We ordered another round.

 

* The UAFC are not responsible for the witterings of any supporters in the production of this piece, and the views expressed are the views of the eidjit doing the writing.