BaggyTrousers wrote:Dave, unlike the wee baby Jesus, I am real. Well, I say real but in reality I’m as real as that stupid phrase “a real Ulster fan”, for of course BaggyTrousers is not my real name. As your loon in the crowd once told you, my real name is Dave Hedgehog, a strange one I suppose but we don’t choose our names, unless of course one changes it by deed poll and as Brexit shows, the only good poll is a deed poll.
Anyway, Grumpy gave splendid information on my whereabouts, not only did I give the moderators Christmas and the New Year off, but also awarded them a “dry January”. Fermain, who is an utterly good guy to whom you should all be grateful to for providing you with this forum, once told me that he gets more complaints about me than the rest put together, I also know that like a Fermain the moderators are all/mostly guys who have a day job and really don’t need the aggravation.
I, of course, dislike be suspended, I feel it a gross impertinence to my self- appointed role of calling a chube a cûnt, something I feel is essential to the good governance of the forum. Good god I’ve seen in the last seven or eight weeks enough evidence to confirm that there is a real danger of wholesale arsefoonary if there is nobody to call a cûnt a cûnt. It has taken Iron discipline not to comment on some trash that has been given free reign.
So I’ve come to a recognition that there can be no compromise between the mods and my “style” without which I have no interest in continuing. Therefore my presence here is untenable, I will not be suspended.
Before exiting, it would be rude not to thank those who have commented generously on my contributions, to the naysayers, that is of course your right, that dumb little opinion of yours, but for one last time, go and fück yourself with a chisel. Amongst these I don’t to my knowledge actually know any of them bar one, BangorBay, whom I met at the time of the Milton Keyes HC game.
He asked here, could anyone take tickets over to meet a guy who would buy them off him, so I was acting as intermediary. Having taken time out of my busy drinking schedule, I transacted the deal for him and took the cash back to his abode, refusing, as one should, any payment for my trouble. Now I don’t suggest that such a trifle should attract undying loyalty, however I would categorise him as one ungrateful cûnt, and were he to suffer a carptastrophic miocardial infarction with disastrous consequence for his breathing, I should be greatly untroubled.
Several prominent artists have had attributed to them, but without definitive proof, the sardonic expression, “no good deed shall go unpunished”. I prefer to think of it as coming from the mouth of one of my favourite homosexuals, Butch Oscar Wilde, a hugely amusing gaylord.
I’ll give you one last story, my cousin, Linda Hedgehog married a guy called Stuart Dick and being a strident feminist who probably “believed her”, she has gone double-barrelled and now calls herself Linda Hedgehog-Dick, I kid you not.
Well I say “I kid you not”but then, I’ve been making up a lot if shyte here over the years, never being one to let the truth get in the way of a good story.
I bid you a fond farewell......... but before I go, I wish to preempt Jackie Brown who will undoubtedly opine, he’ll be back. [emoji38]
Oh yes, and one more thing, not even I could support The Lionels on Saturday, but FÜCK the FIRFUCs.
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