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Joke of the Day

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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby Samstew » Sat Feb 10, 2018 12:14 am

A woman goes to see the GP, after an assessment he says it looks like your pregnant.
Pregnant exclaims the woman, no says the GP, it looks like you are.


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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby Snipe Watson » Sun Feb 11, 2018 12:24 pm

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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby Cornerfleg » Wed Feb 14, 2018 11:59 am

5 gulders and a clap Snipe ....
Always ask yourself, "What would Big Rodney do"... And every time the answer is... "Eat It"
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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby Russ » Wed Feb 14, 2018 12:32 pm

Snipe Watson wrote:Image
Please quote sauce in future

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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby Dave » Wed Feb 14, 2018 12:35 pm

No one grows ketchup like Heinz

- Heinz
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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby BaggyTrousers » Wed Feb 14, 2018 12:36 pm

I'm considering circumcision, have been reading the definitive book by Ivan Nackanikenimov. That was after I'd been to the GP about my lifelong bedwetting and he suggested I read, "Yellow Streams" by I P Knightley.
SUPPORT THE TEAM, FU'CK THE REGIME - UNTIL TERRY SHAME SLOGAN IS GASSED

FIRFU - FU'CK YOU ONE AND ALL, CAVING IN TO SPONSORS, SACKING THE INNOCENT FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE, SHAMEFUL BASTA'RDS. YOU'VE LOST MY SUPPORT & I HOPE MORE ULSTERMEN & WOMEN
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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby Snipe Watson » Wed Feb 14, 2018 12:51 pm

Russ wrote:
Snipe Watson wrote:Image
Please quote sauce in future

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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby BaggyTrousers » Wed Feb 14, 2018 8:38 pm

She's no Sean Spicer you know .....................just a feckin' ignorant harridan.
SUPPORT THE TEAM, FU'CK THE REGIME - UNTIL TERRY SHAME SLOGAN IS GASSED

FIRFU - FU'CK YOU ONE AND ALL, CAVING IN TO SPONSORS, SACKING THE INNOCENT FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE, SHAMEFUL BASTA'RDS. YOU'VE LOST MY SUPPORT & I HOPE MORE ULSTERMEN & WOMEN
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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby Snipe Watson » Wed Feb 14, 2018 10:43 pm

BaggyTrousers wrote:She's no Sean Spicer you know .....................just a feckin' ignorant harridan.

She has some brass neck on her. She could teach Logan how to bullshit.
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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby rumncoke » Fri Feb 16, 2018 11:38 am

Baggy there is another book you should read ,and maybe a few others should, as well,

"How about It?" by R U Willing

a book long out of print

"Are you Dancing ?" by R U Askin
Within this carapace of skepticism there lives an optimist
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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby big mervyn » Fri Feb 16, 2018 3:16 pm

rumncoke wrote:Baggy there is another book you should read ,and maybe a few others should, as well,

"How about It?" by R U Willing

a book long out of print

"Are you Dancing ?" by R U Askin

Conquer Your Prostate by IP Frieley may be of some use to youse coffin dodgers :lol:
Volunteer at an animal sanctuary; it will fill you with joy , despair, but most of all love, unconditional love of the animals.
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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby big mervyn » Fri Feb 16, 2018 3:54 pm

Watched Brad Pitt playing a Ra man from Cookstown last night. Funniest thing I've seen in a good while.
Volunteer at an animal sanctuary; it will fill you with joy , despair, but most of all love, unconditional love of the animals.
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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby Polly Cotton » Sat Mar 03, 2018 6:17 pm

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are about to have sex when Holmes rushes off to the kitchen.
He comes back with a jar of lemon curd. Watson asks, what on earth is that for. "Lemon entry my dear Watson, lemon entry"
You may know my sister, Dot
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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby Samstew » Thu Mar 08, 2018 11:18 pm

Went to bed the other night, only to find the wife laid out on the bed, sucking her lollipop, all sexy like.
She licked it slowly, drawing it along her tongue, she then surprised me by running it down her body, inserting it up her........,and then licking it again.
I told her to be careful, as she would need it for work the next day, helping the kids cross the road.


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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby Samstew » Thu Mar 08, 2018 11:23 pm

We were on a family day out driving one day and found ourselves stuck behind an Anne Summers delivery lorry.
Suddenly a dildo fell from the back of the lorry, smashing into the windscreen and ricocheting off.
Not wanting to draw attention to what it was in front of the kids, the wife said, that was a large insect.
Wee Sam in the back exclaimed, insect, I’m surprised it could fly with a bit that size!!!


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