Postings of a Tea Lady

[BR]

The Don was trying on a new wedding suit, he looked so handsome, however i prefer a man in uniform and suggested he should get married in full ceremonial Guardsman No 1`s just like young William as he was never in the Guards either.

Ethel - do you ever pass the ball to the wrong team?

Just concernred that your problem may be colour blindness - from memory 'young William' was married in Full Dress not Number 1s.

[cables]

Ethel - do you ever pass the ball to the wrong team?

Is that a subtle way of asking if Ethel "plays for the other side"?

[Ethel]

The Don was trying on a new wedding suit, he looked so handsome, however i prefer a man in uniform and suggested he should get married in full ceremonial Guardsman No 1`s just like young William as he was never in the Guards either.

Ethel - do you ever pass the ball to the wrong team?

Just concernred that your problem may be colour blindness - from memory 'young William' was married in Full Dress not Number 1s.

William wore a dress! i thought the bride did that, these modern young couples whatever next.

Just home from a session of sprints with DC and Simon, Si had an all in one sprint suit on, he claims it makes him faster than a speeding spud and has asked The Boss can he wear it on Saturday, he has even painted a Red Hand above a thistle on the breast. it was nice of yon young cub Nev the Rev to demonstrate the "power sprint" for restarts , learnt alot and will help move me into the squad.son The Boss will have to name me soon. ta raa

[theundercoverspark]

Great news for Ethel

During today's specially convened meeting at HQ I was changing a bulb in the Gents when I overheard a hushed conversation coming from the end cubical....

Words to the effect -

"It looks like we will have to give Ethel a run out on Saturday and if Sparky can keep his hand out of the honey pot he is on the bench"

[Ethel]

Get in,This has to be the best weekend of the season to date, boys got home and decided to do some teamwork today. so straight to Shandon for a quick round, then to Fitzwilliam Hotel for some cocktails,followed by a Wagamamas. Great to get invited along, some of the guys saying that the month ahead is the most important of the year and its time to pull together and all have to take responsibilty. yup its Movember and time to get serious some monster tashes to be grown, because i am invited to join them wee paul suggested we call it tashes and gashes the wee scamp. Tomorrow the boss says we will have a special video session to review the weekend performance, personally i thought Kitty was outstanding and no need to watch it again.

[theundercoverspark]

Watch out Ethel the Bear is about


I was in the main office checking a fuse when in bounces Sparky singing " Stand up for The Ulster Bear". He said that he was just back from training and was going to town to buy a pair of Adidas Predator RX SG Boots as he has a big game this weekend. Then off he goes upstairs with a box of Roses in each paw, now I can't say who the sweets were for but I have just saw DH with his mouth full of Strawberry creams

[theundercoverspark]

any talk of Cheerleaders @ HQ?

I heard they practice in a nissen hut at the top of the Newtownards Road.

[Ethel]

What a difference a day makes, called into The Bosses office and told"Ethel today is your week"so theres me chuffed i had made the squad, then it all goes to cheesey Ritz, The Humph has an ace up his sleeve and pulls not one but two Jonny foreigners out of his hat and dumps me back into the Kitchen and to make things worse he wants Terablanche to stay with me until he gets a flat in Obel Tower. Told Humph not on yer nelly if he brings yon big white horse he led the AWB with. Away to Murphys butcher to get a pound of Boerewors, ta ra

[Ethel]

Another slap in the face, i knew i was not in the "squad" for the big one but was expecting to be named in the Ravens since anyone connected with Ulster got a start last year. Enjoyed the the wee get together last week with TAPAG which its now labelled as, The Don loves using abbreveations he said to me this morning at Inspection of the Kitchen "E will you RV at the NFTG with the T for 1600hrs with some TLC for 1F as he is a bit tender, BM the 9ner wants you to gtf up there asap, rodger that.! Anyways back to the TAPAG, yon wee scamp Barry "its the way i tell them" McIlduff and The Don got on like a house on fire, the two of them pulled up a sand bag and swapped stories of the good old times in the Culverts and Hedgerows of South Tyrone.Chris Lyttle a CI man at heart said if the freebie dinners are as good as the muck CI throw out at their annual dinner he will be impressed,Basil McCrea informed me he was born and bred in Donegal so it really is an Ulster group what a masterstroke by The Don to sneak a Donegal lad in there, Conall McDevitt a Leinsterman out and out said he will be proud to SUFTUM as long as its at the RDS. Michelle Mcilveen brought some nice cupcakes. Finally before it broke up Barry came over to me and said "Ethel they don`t value your input here, maybe you should move to Carrickmore we need a good Tealady down there, Sorcha our previous T lady is away in Columbia at the moment sightseeing

[Ethel]

Had the Boss on the phone this morning at 3:30 crying down the phone "Ethel infamy, infamy, they all have it infamy me" he then asked me to come round and make him a nice chinese herbal tea to clam him down, despite his untruths about selection i felt it my duty as an Ulster team member to be there. Boss was made a brew and tucked into bed with his mini sparky. which give me a plan, Lets get NI Power to sponsor "Sparky" nah i am sure marketing with all their O and A levels in kidology have thought that one through. ta ra

[Rooster]

Boss was made a brew and tucked into bed with his mini sparky. which give me a plan, Lets get NI Power to sponsor "Sparky" nah i am sure marketing with all their O and A levels in kidology have thought that one through. ta ra

Nah I would approach ESB as they are planning of going into the domestic market next year, already pretty big in the commercial end, even better approach both plus Airtricity and Firmus and see who will pay most

[Cornerfleg]

I think we need a new tea lady ....

[Ethel]

Dear Shane,

After today's team building meeting, I find myself unable to take this job seriously any longer. I'm afraid I can't take being strategised, reorganised, empowered ,re-engineered or having to meet KPI`s for my position any more.

The fact that i am always overlooked in squad selection is now the butt of jokes by the Ulster Rugby public, But not by our clueless management, whose inane directives and a seemingly limitless ability to patronise, demotivated and pass the buck, has made the branch what it is today. Will you please stop trying to manage from the colour supplements of the Sunday Times? Each Monday I've dreaded another 'fad' directive/ strategy/ initiative from on high. You scatter your conflicting ideas throughout this branch like the seeds of a mad gardener. Hoping vainly that some of them will sprout, miraculously saving the season and with it your miserable hides.

Maybe I'm just not a "team player", but I feel it's time to "self-outsource" to another organisation.Tyrone GAA have expressed an interest.

Yours in exasperation,

Ethel

[darkside lightside]

more ethel, that's what I say...

[Cornerfleg]

Has Simon Danielli ever been tried as tea lady?