What's your emergency?Dave wrote:999? LolOneMore wrote:I think you should do more research.armalig wrote:My mates have formed a band called nine hundred and 99 mega bytes...unfortunately they haven't had one gig as yet
Joke of the Day
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Re: Joke of the Day
Re: Joke of the Day
Good bant.OneMore wrote:What's your emergency?Dave wrote:999? LolOneMore wrote:I think you should do more research.armalig wrote:My mates have formed a band called nine hundred and 99 mega bytes...unfortunately they haven't had one gig as yet
I have my own tv channel, what have you got?
Re: Joke of the Day
I'd rate it 1023 out of 1024.Dave wrote:Good bant.OneMore wrote:What's your emergency?Dave wrote:999? LolOneMore wrote:I think you should do more research.armalig wrote:My mates have formed a band called nine hundred and 99 mega bytes...unfortunately they haven't had one gig as yet
Re: Joke of the Day
How very precise of you.OneMore wrote:I'd rate it 1023 out of 1024.Dave wrote:Good bant.OneMore wrote:What's your emergency?Dave wrote:999? LolOneMore wrote: I think you should do more research.
I have my own tv channel, what have you got?
- Cap'n Grumpy
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Re: Joke of the Day
One night a wife found her husband standing over their new-born baby's cot. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: - disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism.
Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arms around her husband.
"A penny for your thoughts." she whispered in his ear.
"It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a cot like that for only £46.50!"
Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arms around her husband.
"A penny for your thoughts." she whispered in his ear.
"It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a cot like that for only £46.50!"
I'm not arguing -
I'm just explaining why I'm right
I'm just explaining why I'm right
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Re: Joke of the Day
An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a blood thirsty group of cannibals. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself, "Oh God, I'm doomed."
There is a ray of light from the sky above and a voice booms out: "No my son, you are NOT doomed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you."
So the explorer picks up the stone and attacks the chief, feverishly bashing at his head with all his strength. He stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 cannibals with a look of shock on their faces.
The voice booms out again: "Okay. . . NOW you're doomed."
There is a ray of light from the sky above and a voice booms out: "No my son, you are NOT doomed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you."
So the explorer picks up the stone and attacks the chief, feverishly bashing at his head with all his strength. He stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 cannibals with a look of shock on their faces.
The voice booms out again: "Okay. . . NOW you're doomed."
I'm not arguing -
I'm just explaining why I'm right
I'm just explaining why I'm right
- Cap'n Grumpy
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Re: Joke of the Day
and possibly put this one on previously, but it is sort of seasonal .....
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.
There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.
Question: Who was the survivor?
(Scroll down for Answer)
Answer:
The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.
**** Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke.
(Men - read on ....)
So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.
By the way, if you're a woman and you're still reading, this illustrates another point: Women never listen
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.
There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.
Question: Who was the survivor?
(Scroll down for Answer)
Answer:
The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.
**** Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke.
(Men - read on ....)
So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.
By the way, if you're a woman and you're still reading, this illustrates another point: Women never listen
I'm not arguing -
I'm just explaining why I'm right
I'm just explaining why I'm right
- Russ
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Re: Joke of the Day
He's not funnyDave wrote:Welcome to the forum Shane Todd.
- Russ
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Re: Joke of the Day
Good to have Give My Head Peace back
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Re: Joke of the Day
Just heard the bloke who nicked my diary last year has died.....all my thoughts are with his family now.
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Re: Joke of the Day
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the Barn was too hot.
Because the Barn was too hot.
- Snipe Watson
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Re: Joke of the Day
HwoodMike2umate wrote:Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the Barn was too hot.
Re: Joke of the Day
..because it was stapled to the punk.HwoodMike2umate wrote:Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the Barn was too hot.
Re: Joke of the Day
When my friend told me to stop acting like a flamingo, I had to put my foot down.
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