Joke of the Day

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Liz Fraser
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Liz Fraser »

Wife- Do you think I look fat in this dress?
Husband- Do you promise not to get mad no matter what I say?
Wife- Yes I promise
Husband- I shagged your sister
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Dave
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Dave »

What do you call a pony with a sore throat?

A little hoarse
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rumncoke
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by rumncoke »

Hear about the girl who asked a guy if he had a Tena ?

He said” I didn’t know you were charging “



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Wee Woman
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Wee Woman »

Speaking of Tenas, anyone else getting these feckin adverts on their Tapatalk feed?

Image

Cheeky bastids ImageImage
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Rooster
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Rooster »

Wee Woman wrote:Speaking of Tenas, anyone else getting these feckin adverts on their Tapatalk feed?

Image

Cheeky bastids ImageImage
Nope
“That made me feel very special and underlined to me that Ulster is more than a team, it is a community and a rugby family"
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Cap'n Grumpy
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Cap'n Grumpy »

Wot with all the shenanigans going on wi Ulster rugby this season, I have been experiencing a few anger issues lately.

Therapist suggested that I write letters to all the people who have annoyed me, and then burn them.

I've now done that ....but am now wondering wot to do with all these letters I'm left with?

Thoughts?
I'm not arguing -
I'm just explaining why I'm right
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Samstew
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Samstew »

Sinead O’Connor has offered to sing the Prince classic at Barry Chuckles funeral, Nothing Compares 2 Me 2 You.


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BaggyTrousers
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by BaggyTrousers »

Wee Woman wrote:Speaking of Tenas, anyone else getting these feckin adverts on their Tapatalk feed?

Image

Cheeky bastids ImageImage
I feel your pain WW, I don't get them but for about 10 years I've had offers from all over the world 1) from whom to buy Viagra 2) asking if I am looking for a fu'ck-buddy.

I tell them 1) no thanks, as a horndog, I've never had trouble cracking a fat, 2) Nah thanks, your top shaggers might laugh at my best, I mean I'm in my 60s FFFS, I'm no longer a bedroom athlete.
NEVER MOVE ON. Years on, I cannot ever watch Ireland with anything but indifference, I continue to wish for the imminent death of Donal Spring, the FIRFUC's executioner of Wee Paddy & Wee Stu, and I hate the FIRFUCs with undiminished passion.
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Dave
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Dave »

Image
I have my own tv channel, what have you got?
armalig
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by armalig »

Do u ever wonder who picks up a guide dogs sh1te?
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big mervyn
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by big mervyn »

armalig wrote:Do u ever wonder who picks up a guide dogs sh1te?
They are trained to do it on command in an appropriate place. If they are caught short they'll use the gutter.
Volunteer at an animal sanctuary; it will fill you with joy , despair, but most of all love, unconditional love of the animals.
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armalig
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by armalig »

big mervyn wrote:
armalig wrote:Do u ever wonder who picks up a guide dogs sh1te?
They are trained to do it on command in an appropriate place. If they are caught short they'll use the gutter.
SIT ! :lol:
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Samstew
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Samstew »

Image


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big mervyn
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by big mervyn »

Samstew wrote:Image


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>appl
Volunteer at an animal sanctuary; it will fill you with joy , despair, but most of all love, unconditional love of the animals.
Big Neville Southall
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Russ
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Russ »

Primark on fire
10s of pounds of clothes destroyed

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