Re: Joke of the Day
Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2018 5:01 pm
Man: Do you have the book Living With a Small Penis?
Librarian: I don't think it's in yet.
Man: Yeah, that's the one
Librarian: I don't think it's in yet.
Man: Yeah, that's the one
The UAFC
The Ulternative Alster Fan Club supporting Ulster Rugby!
https://www.uafc.co.uk/
Joke of the Day
Page 82 of 89
Re: Joke of the Day
Posted: Sat Dec 15, 2018 10:27 pm
Re: Joke of the Day
Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2018 5:56 pm
I had eczema, diarrhoea and haemorrhoids last weekend!!!!
My best game of Scrabble ever!
Was going to post some jokes about cash machines.
But cannot think of any ATM.
I started a yacht building business in my garage.
Sails have gone through the roof.
My friend keeps saying, "Cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."
I know he means well.
Just bought myself a pen that writes underwater.
It writes other words too
Just had a blazing row with the missus and in a temper she threw a bottle of fabric conditioner at me...
I think it must have been Lenor, because it was a bit too close for Comfort
My best game of Scrabble ever!
Was going to post some jokes about cash machines.
But cannot think of any ATM.
I started a yacht building business in my garage.
Sails have gone through the roof.
My friend keeps saying, "Cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."
I know he means well.
Just bought myself a pen that writes underwater.
It writes other words too
Just had a blazing row with the missus and in a temper she threw a bottle of fabric conditioner at me...
I think it must have been Lenor, because it was a bit too close for Comfort
Re: Joke of the Day
Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2019 11:38 pm
I introduced the new guy to everyone in the office .
I said "everybody this is Chris he's going to be working with us, he may have difficulty understanding us he's a mongol"
At which point Libby the feminazi lept up and ranted "you're an utter disgrace to describe Chris that way, I would have said Chris has downs syndrome and learning difficulties".
Then Chris head butted Libby square in the face.
Guys from Ulaanbaatar don't take insults lightly .
I said "everybody this is Chris he's going to be working with us, he may have difficulty understanding us he's a mongol"
At which point Libby the feminazi lept up and ranted "you're an utter disgrace to describe Chris that way, I would have said Chris has downs syndrome and learning difficulties".
Then Chris head butted Libby square in the face.
Guys from Ulaanbaatar don't take insults lightly .
Re: Joke of the Day
Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2019 4:54 am
I heard that Chris accumulates things and stores them away ...
Re: Joke of the Day
Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2019 5:47 am
From the reaction, it looks like "The Mongol Hoards/Hordes" is/are as welcome as it/they ever were!Cap'n Grumpy wrote:I heard that Chris accumulates things and stores them away ...
Re: Joke of the Day
Posted: Sun Apr 14, 2019 10:49 am
Can you show me the way to Larne “ he said
His hand upon her knee
“ I know the way to Larne “ she said
“ But not going Larne — on me”
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
His hand upon her knee
“ I know the way to Larne “ she said
“ But not going Larne — on me”
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Re: Joke of the Day
Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2019 9:30 pm
Re: Joke of the Day
Posted: Sun Apr 28, 2019 1:46 pm
Re: Joke of the Day
Posted: Tue Apr 30, 2019 9:11 am
Merv
The joke about the cash machine
I thought the punch line was going to be
I haven't found one yet
The joke about the cash machine
I thought the punch line was going to be
I haven't found one yet
Re: Joke of the Day
Posted: Tue Apr 30, 2019 9:14 am
An ATM in Ulster is also known as a
A hole in the wall
A hole in the wall
Re: Joke of the Day
Posted: Sun Jul 21, 2019 3:44 pm
I may have used this one before, but it's a bit quiet around here ...
Q: How do you think the unthinkable?
A: With an itheberg!
Q: How do you think the unthinkable?
A: With an itheberg!
Re: Joke of the Day
Posted: Mon Aug 26, 2019 3:24 pm
The Pope is having a special service of healing.
Paddy comes forward and says "Holy Father can you help me with my hearing?"
The Pontiff lays his hands on Paddy's head, prays for a minute and says "How's your hearing now?"
Paddy says "I don't know, I'm not in court 'til next Wednesday!"
Paddy comes forward and says "Holy Father can you help me with my hearing?"
The Pontiff lays his hands on Paddy's head, prays for a minute and says "How's your hearing now?"
Paddy says "I don't know, I'm not in court 'til next Wednesday!"
Re: Joke of the Day
Posted: Tue Aug 27, 2019 8:17 am
Mummy!!!! Mummy !!! Can I lick the bowl?
No ---
Flush it like everyone else
No ---
Flush it like everyone else
Re: Joke of the Day
Posted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 12:33 pm