A WKD weekend - Kimbleworld developments

[ballpark]

Kimble world is closed, and TOK is OTR. It's a tall story this one but Kimble World, an oasis of vacuumity and emptiness, was once owned by the aristocrat Sir Kimbah Barkingmadupthewrongtree, The Original Kimble's great uncle. Sir Kimbah, spotting the clear lack of opportunities for developing emptiness decided to offload this vacuous piece of space to his grandson TOK as a gift reckoning that nothing much would happen.

Apart from a few tinkerings here and there by a busy TOK nothing much did happen until the exposure of Kimble World to the world and hot air. Sniffing commercial opportunities TOK installed a few tacky poems and stories and a wayward map and lo in the fullness of time they did come. Sir Kimbah spotting hot air developing over his once empty fifedom fired TOK on the pretext of a dodgey e-mail and took over the reins of Kimble World. Since then things have went pear shaped.

Sir Kimbah has been plagued by visitors asking questions, 'is that Stanley's Gate over there?', 'where can I find a cockatrice for lunch?', 'where can i get the no. 32 bus and one avuncular visitor had the nerve to say' I don't understand why tourists would come here'. Things came to a head when Sir kimbah's only contact with the outside world a carrier pigeon by the name of Gossamer defected to a multi pigeonaire, media magnate and all round loosehead, FRUpes.

Gossamer, a well known carrier pigeon and renowned for dropping in for a chat with his pm's, is singing like a canary. Nothing is sacred, old e-mails, bar room conversations, midnight telephone calls are all being splattered like pigeon poo over the network. Gossamer was described recently by an associate as a recycled durex with a pinhole in it, the cr*p just drips out. Gossamer can drop you in it quicker than you can say pigeon poo. Media organisations such as SCOOP and the FRU are on red alert for more revelations, who will sign Gossamer first?.

Unfortunately the Editor of SCOOP is OTR so his deputy cap'n Grumpy is at the Office as we speak. SCOOP has been swamped by leaks recently and there are signs of precipitation on the cap'ns beard. As others are losing theirs, the cap'n has retained a dignified air. He is available to counsel you if you've been dropped in it. He will be in the beer tent at Ravers this afternoon up until 3.25p.m. and is available by appointment only and latterly you'll find him at the second barrier from 3.30p.m. for consultation though it is fair to say he may well be a trifle distracted. Since Kimble World is closed, so is the map for finding the cap'n, so a pm may be neccessary to get an appointment.

And what of Kimble, OTR? fugitive posters have been posted over the gates of Kimble World. What he is he running from?, where is he running to? who is he running from?, and who is he runing to? Will he turn up in time for the kick off at Ravers today, will anyone? This promises to be a WKD weekend. Look out for more Wacky Kimbleworld Developments.

[Rooster]

Ballpark, you have been conned That is not the original kimble website but a devious page set up by the FRU to confuse you

[ballpark]

Indeed Rooster, it remains to be seen who will have confused who by the time I'm finished.

[ballpark]

Saturday, 2.58p.m. Ravenhill Rugby Ground. – I stepped from the beer tent unto Lake Delia, (Ravers car park for the uninitiated) and headed for the Terrace home of the great unwashed and much, much more. Lake Delia was as arid as an Arizona dust bowl but much, much colder. Boulders large and small littered Delia’s basin, many boulders where wearing at least 3 layers of clothing and clutched their drinks tightly to avoid spilling by shivering.

Picking my way through the boulders I stopped briefly to say hello to the parents of an Ulster player, as I wished them a Happy New Year I was gripped in a half nelson.
“Not interrupting am I?” came the cap’ns cheerful voice.
“Happy New Year,” I managed to gargle back.
Relaxing his grip somewhat Grumps informed me that I would be joining SCOOP’s Hall of Notoriety.
“Oh,” I said at the thought of joining such notoriables as Grumps himself, Kimble, Cables and some fellow known as Al K Hall.

“SCOOP, has had a lot of leaks recently,” the cap’n continued, “unfortunately we had more coming in than we’ve had going out.” The cap’n held up his index finger and waved it at my face. Several nearby boulders turned and stared, but it was not a rude gesture, the finger was red at the tip and tapered.
“There have been a lot of holes in the dyke to be plugged,” said the cap'n by way of explanation. "We even had a Gaz leak last week, unfortunately it didn’t ignite, but we’ll plug on” said the cap’n resolutely

Quickly glancing down I noticed the cap’n clutched a clipboard in his right hand, (or was it his left, I can’t remember). The clipboard had a long list of names, some I recognised.
“Can I get an appointment, cap’n?”
The cap’n visibly cheered up and glancing down unto page 2 of his clipboard, finally responded.
“I can’t fit you in until the Llanelli match, see me at the second barrier on the halfway line at halftime, I’ve only got a couple of minutes to counsel you,” I was gobsmacked, the Llanelli match? That was 3 weeks away, could I wait?.

With that I left for the Terrace and the match. At about 5.05pm. I descended the Terrace sobered by the match I had just seen. As I wandered past the rear of the beer tent still pondering the game, a voice from the shadows called, “over here!”.
I could hear Gossamer’s gossipy chatter and could see the FRU in a huddle of – one, just outside the tent. The figure who had called me was standing with his back to the glare of the spotlights, I could not figure who it was.

“No statement,” the figure said.
“What?”
“No URSC statement,” the figure replied again seeming to speak from behind a large Ulster scarf covering most of the face.
I realised this could be Stanleygate’s ‘Deep Throat’.
“Was there ever meant to be a statement?” I asked. Deep Throat shrugged his shoulders.
“I mean, who actually said there would be a statement, was that really Mike Reid on the messageboard” I wondered aloud. Deep Throat, stood silently.
“I mean Stanley was supposed to be an ordinary Joe on the radio representing no-one but his good self, right?, so why has he apologised, who did he apologise to, what did he apologise for?” I asked.
“Was there ever really going to be an investigation, investigating what or who?”

I looked around, the crowds where silently flocking from the Terrace. In the distance I espied Kimble with his fugitive poster under his arm accompanied by the Grumps and his wee fleg, picking a north by northwest passage through the boulders on Lake Delia. Further south I spotted Cables looking under the boulders for something or someone.

“Be here Friday night after the Biarritz match, there is more to come, much, much more,” said the voice behind me. I turned back to Deep Throat, but he was gone, vanished! Only the glare of the spotlights remained. I had a bus to catch, would the No. 32 be any use, would it get me to my destination, is there a no. 32 bus?

This was turning into a truly wicked WKD weekend.

[the original kimble]

Ballpark,

It would surely be remiss of me not to acknowledge such original balderdash. Not since the tale of Cables and his trip to Montmartre has such nonsense enthralled us all. And to think it all sprang from a well of absolute nothingness! I look forward to the next astonishing episode!

Yours etc,

tok

[ballpark]

I am not looking forward to next Friday TOK, I am scared i might actually hear something of substance at the beer tent and see something of nothingness - ON THE PITCH!!

[the original kimble]

I am inclined to agree with you on both counts, BP; but more importantly.........................



you are OFF TOPIC!!!!


Is that a first for ballpark?




tok

[pwrmoore]

I am inclined to agree with you on both counts, BP; but more importantly.........................



you are OFF TOPIC!!!!


Is that a first for ballpark?




tok

[Cap'n Grumpy]

We won't know until Friday if he's off topic!

If he's right, he's off topic

If he's wrong, then it's complete balderdash, and that is very much the topic!








(or am I wrong?)

PS. BP Does the poster do you justice, or did we get you from the wrong side? (left? .... no. right? .... no, left ..... aw you work it out!)

[ballpark]

WHAT BECAME OF THE WORLD KIMBLE STARTED

As i walk these boards of broken dreams,
I have visions of many things,
But Kimble World is just an illusion,
Filled with emptiness and confusion,
What became of the World Kimble Started,
He's been seen but now departed,
I know he's got to find some kind of peace of mind,
But reallyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Grass roots support grows all around,
Sadly the original Kimble can't be found,
Everyday these searches grow a little longer,
I can't stand this nonsense much longer,
He walks in shadows hiding from light,
Cold and alone no comfort in sight,
Hoping and praying for someone who'll care,
Always running and going nowhere,
Now what became of the world Kimble started,
He's been seen but now departed,

I know he's got to find some kind of peace of mind,
He's been searching everywhere, just to find someone to care,
He's been running everyday,
I know he's gonna find a way,
Nothing's gonna stop him now, he'll find a route somehow,
He's been running everyday, I know he'll...........
But reallyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

PS. BP Does the poster do you justice, or did we get you from the wrong side? It's a true likeness cap'n, the bit behind the bandages I mean, I had a peek!!

[ballpark]

[quote="ballpark
“Can I get an appointment, cap’n?”
The cap’n visibly cheered up and glancing down unto page 2 of his clipboard, finally responded.
“I can’t fit you in until the Llanelli match, see me at the second barrier on the halfway line at halftime, I’ve only got a couple of minutes to counsel you,” I was gobsmacked, the Llanelli match? That was 3 weeks away, could I wait?.[/quote]

Well i regret to anounce that I'll be 'temporarily unavailable' at the Scarlet match and cannot make the appointment cap'n. I will be on secondment to the dark side on a humanity mission. I'm sure you'll understand Grumps and won't charge me a cancellation fee since i'm letting you know about 13 days in advance.

Talking of 'temporarily unavailable' i note the following notice at the gates of Kimble World, What in real time does 'temporarily unavailable' translate as since it has been this way for nigh on 2 weeks. How long must we wait in Kimble World time for the gates to open? Only one man can answer this connundrum.

[the original kimble]

BP,

It’s mad, it’s bad, I’m even contemplating fratricide.

First Ulster forget the meaning of the word, tactics. Then the elder girl announces matrimony, next the staff resign, then the young one down in Cork decides to celebrate his fiftieth, finally the Bears crash out in the playoffs; all the wheels have come off the wagon! What am I to do? And then to crown it all you still demand to be entertained by a web of nothingness!

If I had a tether I would be beyond the end of it!

tok

[ballpark]

If you had a tether TOK you would lash yourself to something and ride out this mid life storm. I cannot offer you sympathy as it is a bye word for nothingness on this board let alone Kimble World.

I suggest you top yourself gracefully TOK and in a manner of someone who has seen so much in life that there's nothing left to see. I too had a bad weekend, the Skins slipped up in Seattle, Ulster crashed on Friday night, Yet again I'm not getting a pay rise this year and worse, the cat I intended to drown is out of the bag, (watch out for more revelations here). I seek not to be entertained but to find answers. You haven't any, I'm off to find another world!!!

"No wheels on my wagon, I'm not rolling along, apathy has captured me."

[the original kimble]

The End

[Tighthead Prod]

TOK - Are we talking Cyber HARI KARI here ?? Shurely you are not going to ''run away '' too ??