Gusherasms

[TheElephantMan]

Really like Gusher on TV and wireless

[Russ]

Really like Gusher on TV and wireless

I met him last time i was over

Not sure I got a photo

[The Boo Radleys]

Gusher gave the after dinner speech at the Northern Ireland Grain Trade Dinner at the Culloden last week - top speech - lots of jokes at the expense of one ex Ulster Rugby Ref (and colleague....) David Malseed!!!!

[UlsterNo9]

64mins - Luke McGraths name comes up on screen as Leinsters replacement scrum half

"Dispite what it says on the official team sheet, is actually Eoin Reddan I'm pretty sure."

The irony of Gusher correcting a mistake of the wrong name being used

[big mervyn]

Gusher's finest moment tonight "Jim Stokes had a four hour heart valve replacement op this morning, no doubt he'll be watching tonight if he's not too groggy"


Best wishes to Jim, another one of the good guys.

Recovering well and up on his feet the day

No more torture for me for 6 months. I was surprised to find out he actually had a heart

[rorybestsbigbaldnoggin]

64mins - Luke McGraths name comes up on screen as Leinsters replacement scrum half

"Dispite what it says on the official team sheet, is actually Eoin Reddan I'm pretty sure."

The irony of Gusher correcting a mistake of the wrong name being used

He did then even it out, by referring to Reddan as McGrath at least twice

[rumncoke]

Let's be honest at least Gusher gives a commentary and not a load hot air which passes for commentary by English sky types and the analysis is usually analysis rather than praise heaping on the some Player .


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[UlsterNo9]

"Is the excitement too much, or was there a diazepam put in the orange juice?"

[therealspratt]

Was a cracking one about Cinderella putting on the crystal slipper tonight, about Franco I think!

[MARB]

''Well that really was good work from Craig Gilroy there.


Actually I believe that was Andrew Warwick. Quite the difference."

[Tender]

Yep, I almost inhaled my Guinness when he did that one. He is the reason I don't have O level ( yes I'm that old) chemistry. His class was just like a free period and he's been making us laugh even since.

[Scholar]

Send the tapes to Bordeaux for pre-match analysis . Worth ten points .

[BaggyTrousers]

Yep, I almost inhaled my Guinness when he did that one. He is the reason I don't have O level ( yes I'm that old) chemistry. His class was just like a free period and he's been making us laugh even since.

Oh yes, I was an O level boy too. Not that I did it for O level but in my first couple of years we had a woodwork teacher, Wee Chip Waddell if memory serves. First two periods on a monday morning but Chip was a football nut, all you had to do was mention Match of the Day & that was it, down tools and talk crap for an hour and ten.

I like Jim but he is showing signs of needing a wee trip to Specsavers (other opticians are available)

I do have O Level Chemistry Tender, sadly I don't have A level Chemistry. For me it was the days when your parents talked to teachers and then they informed you what you were going to do. I wanted to do Chemistry, Physics and Maths, I end up doing Geography, English & Maths, lost interest quickly spent a year and a half playing golf - exceedingly well mind you - then joined a feckin' bank, hence a completely and utterly wasted life, bloody lucky I'm not embittered by the waste, I'm actually particularly lazy anyway, I'd probably have just sat around experimenting & theorizing and come up with something amazing but no, feckin' banking.

Mind you the golf was excellent training for the bank, one gowfed a fair bit in the bank in those days, met a good class of person doncha know.

I didn't have a commentator as a teacher but I had two physics teachers who were both international rugby refs, Ronnie Gilliland and Stephen Hilditch, this years FIRFU President. I played for the school in the Schools Cup Golf at Holywood one year and Da Hilditch was the teacher two drove us down. After the competition, rather than go back to school he produced his clubs and he & I think an Aussie PE teacher played me & another pupil 9 holes over the second 9.

Needless to say we chinned them & arrived on the 18th hole, our wee game over & with me having had 8 straight pars, I mention it only because on the 18th tee he whooped and shouted as I teed off attempting to test my mental strength No feckin' manners but no bother straight down the middle & a 9th par. Of course, as I usually say on golf stories, "Ach, sure it was only Holywood", I could go round there in par with an orange and a hockey stick.

MInd you, given the equipment we used then it was remarkable equalling or beating par on most courses. tiny wooden headed drivers and unforgiving blades, Dunlop 65 or Slazenger plus balls, Titleist hadn't even been thought of. The clubs were the sort of thing that would only be used these days to kill rats, cull seals or drive a reluctant donkey up Tyrella strand. I often wondered if I'd had the clubs they use these days how I might have played.

Well that is a part of the night put in, this insomnia is a ballix, a bit like Agen-le-tete, the forum idiot, but not quite as irritating.

[thecrouch]

Never change, Baggy.

[Tender]

Baggy, that rant is pure gold. I've it copied and stored away for some wet miserable Saturday mornin, after a depressing Ulster Friday night collapse, when I'll read it again and smile, as I recall schooldays spent on the lamb and teachers buying us pints and telling bad jokes. The same teachers who would steal yer Rothmans ( I thought I was Jason King) and punch our shoulders black'n'blue, kill our legs and attempt to lift us from the ground using only our proudly groomed sideboards.
One Friday, Gusher was clearly bored or a little drunk, so he did what every bored-drunk teacher did and had us copying huge passages from some earth shatteringly exciting Chemistry text book, into our own notebooks. Meanwhile he's enthroned behind his raised chemistry bench, wearing his favourite whitish ( Failed to doorstep challenge) lab coat. He starts mixing beakers of wonderfully coloured liquids, seemingly bored and paying no attention to us, other than the usual threats of violence, when anyone spoke a syllable. He knew we were all half watching him and as the mixture he was concocting started to billow smoke, he straightened his back, lifts the beaker and drinks from it. Down goes his head and he slumps to his right onto the floor, out of sight and begins to moan.
Now being greatly concerned, not one of us moved, other than to stifle laughs and mouth 'WTF' to one another. Gusher keeps up the moaning and then a large hairy hand appears over his bench, the sort of hand Lon Chaney Jnr would have been seen with. Then up comes Gusher, fake warewolf teeth, hair standing on end and lab coat collar turned up. Needles to say we roared with laughter and he lapped it all up. He then told us how he'd produced the smokey liquid, but sod if any of our lot would remember it. That's why I don't have a Chemistry O level, just some really great memories of my misspent schooldays. It turns out qualifications are pants. I didn't go to University and I don't regret it.
You can smoke herbs anywhere and once you catch on that contentment is an achievable goal, nothing else matters, and I do mean nothing. There is nothing in this world worth worrying about and we sure as hell won't alter the outcome by worrying. Things generally work out, or ye die. Worrying about shyte does nothing but make you miserable, or ill. Life isn't a competition, it's a game, and everyone loses the game, because we all die. This is as good as it gets, there's nothing else,nothing comes after it. Sky fairy stories are for those who can't face that reallity. Enjoy this while you can.