Re: Biblical matters
Posted: Thu May 12, 2016 3:50 pm
Any shagging in the bibble?
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Bit of incest in the OT far as I can remember and there was all sorts going on in Sodom and Gomorrah ( clue in there somewhere ).CIMANFOREVER wrote:Well the Egyptians were f*cked after the plagues.. were they a metaphor for STI's?
And Mary's shagging was, in His own words, Immaculate, so fair do's Big Man...
Ezekiel 23:19
Yet she increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth when she engaged in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their genitals – as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.
Jackie Brown wrote:"I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.". 1 Timothy 2:12
How do the Dup'ers live with themselves...
A woman is unlike a light bulb. You can unscrew a light bulb.BaggyTrousers wrote:I know I'm supposed to be the expert around here, but somethings are beyond even my ken. So I need the assistance of some scholar/s, for there is an issue which has me vexed full sore.
Last night whilst perusing the bible, as you do, I read in Deuteronomy that I may have an issue with my wife. You see I don't know if she was a virgin when we married, it never bothered me one way or the other to be honest. Now almost 40 years on, some might think it's a bit late in the day, but I see that I should drag her to her father's door and demand proof and heaven forbid he can't provide it, for then apparently I am to drag her off to Israel and may every man in that country stone her to death
This all seems a bit extreme, for truth be told I rather like her and she has been a first class wife this past 36 years.
I'm also a bit concerned that if her ould lad can provide evidence that will presumably have to stand up in court, that not only will I be whipped, and these buggers tend not to spare the rod, but, and it's a bit like throwing bad numbers at monopoly and landing on Regent Street with three houses on it, I have to pay him 100 Shekels and between you and me, I've got plans for every penny in the bank as it is.
Now as I've said many times, I may not be religious but I try to do the right thing. This has kept me from my sleep last night. Can anybody help? What's a man to do?
As for you 9, thon Ezekiel was around a 2000 years too earlier, the ould pervert could have made a living writing porn scripts.UlsterNo9 wrote:Baggy, I hope your father in law wasn't Ezekiel....
Ezekiel 23:19
Yet she increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth when she engaged in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their genitals – as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.
Everybody knows Ezekiel was a renowned kiddy fiddler and a nonce. Google translates Ezekiel as 'Jimmy Saville'BaggyTrousers wrote:As for you 9, thon Ezekiel was around a 2000 years too earlier, the ould pervert could have made a living writing porn scripts.UlsterNo9 wrote:Baggy, I hope your father in law wasn't Ezekiel....
Ezekiel 23:19
Yet she increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth when she engaged in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their genitals – as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.
Mrs T might consider awarding you a staker if you're not careful. Whaddya think 9, what choo gonna look like with a chimney on ya?
Mentalists are a waste of good church bells. Stone the feckers but always remember health and safety. Helmets and body armour are needed....except if it's Nelson Mcfukingcauseland who believes the world was made in 4004 B.C.E.BaggyTrousers wrote:Jack, 2 fine pieces of splendid bit of wisdom, but FFS man ..............the question is to stone or not to stone?
The mentalists appear to be adherents of Bob Dylan.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0Zxd5jp-lI
I've always been interested in religious matters Bart, sure it's hard to avoid it in this horrid wee statelet but here, although I'm not a believer I do think it's important to know what the enemy is thinking, and yes I do believe that religion is an enemy of rational thinking and amongst other things, equality in both basic & varied respects.Bart S wrote:Baggy - why the sudden religious fervour? Is it really all a cunning plan to get one of those lucrative IQ Dave contracts that Ulster rugby seem to love dishing out??