The UAFC

Two female co-workers are having a conversation at work: Woman 1: Did you have good sex last night? Woman 2: No, it was a disaster... my husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 minutes, got on top of me, finished having sex in 4 minutes, rolled over and fell asleep in 2 minutes. How about you? Woman ...

An elderly lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship Holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam.. I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress Is blowing up in this high wind?" "Y...

A TV INTERVIEW WHICH WAS NEVER AIRED IN THE UK .... You know there are so many TV channels, each starved of new programs. In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease, arranged for an interview with a farmer who may have some theories on the matter ....

A man doing market research for the Vaseline Company knocked at the door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet. "I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?" She said, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time....

Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish.
"I think it's got epilepsy" he tells the vet.
Vet takes a look and says "It seems calm enough to me".
Paddy says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".

Reckon we can thank Cardoc for this weather...seems like he has invoked the wrath of the Dakota indians and their ancient chieftan "Rain in the face." :D I got caught out with the weather this morning myself I was intending spending the day following the Circuit of Ireland Retro rally but...

tribal wisdom
Tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians (so legend has it), passed on from generation to generation, says that, "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount."

Man lost in a hot air balloon over Ireland . He looks down and sees a
farmer
and shouts to him, "Where am I?"
The Irish farmer looks up and shouts back "You can't kid me ya b'stard,
you're in that feckin basket!"

"Tractors" Paddy is passing by Mick's hay shed one day when through a gap in the door he sees Mick doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old red Massey Ferguson Tractor Buttocks clenched he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first the right welly, followed by the ...

Paddy's in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"What the feck you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself" Paddy replies.
"It should be around your neck" says the Guard.
"I know" says Paddy "but I couldn't feckin breathe".

] what's the best way down? via dublin or Dublin now by far the best I would concur with that - Armagh and Monaghan would be preferable even to Enniskillen and Sligo (imo) Unless you're starting off from the west of the province, of course.[/quote] Even going from Monaghan now via Dublin is probably...

For Shan, 'The Star of the County Down :D Near Banbridge town, in the County Down One morning in July Down a boreen green came a sweet colleen And she smiled as she passed me by. She looked so sweet from her two white feet To the sheen of her nut-brown hair Such a coaxing elf, I'd to shake myself To...

Finding Campsites proving difficult - they seem to be closed or closing and great Travelodge deal doenst start until 1st October. Anyone any suggestions for bargain basement accomodation in Galway ? There's a caravan park close to Galway Crystal on the road heading for Oranmore you might get a spac...

Accommodation will be difficult to find in Galway centre on 24th- 26th it's their Oyster festival weekend

A comment from Ronnie Crawford's Facebook the last past UUP mayor of Lisburn giving his calculations on how many were at Ravenhill yesterday Not a Psalm to be heard. Three hour session on cold and wet night. Why did I not bring an overcoat? Brrrrr. First Minister and Minister for DoE there also as w...