Some one please ... get me interested in the new season!!!

[BaggyTrousers]

Anyone find a petard lying around as if recently dispensed with? Russ may have left it behind after hoisting himself by it.

I take it BT (sport) that you don't realise a petard is a bomb and once one has been hoisted by said petard it ceases to actually lie around as it is no longer an it but a whole series of bits?

Oh thank you so much, I thought it was a knot tied by kiddiefiddling boy scout leaders Imagine Russ hosted by a dodgy knot then having been buggered by a dodgy scoutmaster, is careless enough to leave it lying around for the next victim.

Well well, you learn something new every Monday morning at 1.22 precisely.

[Russ]

Why would he be hosting me?

[againstthehead]

Now man up, we're talking about Ulster here not the girl fecking guides.

When we're talking about the Ulster back-row without Henry, Henderson, an aging Wilson and a fatter, more violent Augustus Gloop at 8, we are talking about the Girl Guides.

lol, just read that - very funny!

[big mervyn]

Why would he be hosting me?

Yes. I rather think you would be the "host" in that scenario

[BaggyTrousers]

Why would he be hosting me?

Maybe thinks you have a gorgeous keister, how would I know, I've never been a scoutmaster nor been in the life boys? You were the one he hosted, you tell me.

How is your petard this morning, mines pretty explosive - see what you can do when you leave out an apostrophe.

[drumbo diehard]

Does anyone think that year on year the Pro12 is becoming less skilful and the quota system of NIQ players for Ulster,Munster and Leinster will mean never again can we compete with English and French teams?

[Snipe Watson]

Does anyone know if Fleg is still sittin in the house with a big sour bake on him, or has he manned up?

[Russ]

He'll be happy regarding Trimble

[BaggyTrousers]

Does anyone think that year on year the Pro12 is becoming less skilful and the quota system of NIQ players for Ulster,Munster and Leinster will mean never again can we compete with English and French teams?

No.

We never will, nothing to do with NIQs though. We aren't good enough and the boat has sailed on small countries winning the SDC. Money is much more of the issue than NIQs, though being able to have 17 in their squad doesn't harm the French teams.

[againstthehead]

Does anyone think that year on year the Pro12 is becoming less skilful and the quota system of NIQ players for Ulster,Munster and Leinster will mean never again can we compete with English and French teams?

Not sure if it's getting less skillful. I think the top sides have lost some hugely talented players such as BOD, Nacewa, ROG and Afoa so the top sides just aren't as impressive as they were. But that's as much a cycle as anything else.

The fact that we can keep the top Irish players in Ireland gives us a bit of advantage and they are only spread over 3 teams really. However, rugby is so darned attritional these days your squad can be decimated pretty quickly. Add to that, the loss of internationals then the standard really starts to drop off during certain times of the season.

In order to be competitive with the big frenchies then we need to keep the overseas imports and importantly the quality of the imports. However, when the likes of Toulon can afford 2 world class squads you have to wonder if it's even possible to competitive.

With the number of injuries these days, I wouldn't be against 5 or 6 NIQs for each province but only if the quality was sufficiently high.

[Rooster]

What's wrong with me ... I currently am more worked up about One Direction splitting up than the approaching new season ... guys your mission if you choose to accept it is convince me we wont get another mediocre Hoofball loads of hot air and spin just above average performances, mandatory injuries, roller-coaster Havers ... just with Kingspan plastered over every bit of it that can be viewed on camera ...

What's going to change to get the juices going ... ?????

Tighten up you miserable fecker, rugby starts Friday night, so get yer Brennan over to the terrace and start to gulder.

[Cornerfleg]

Ohhh I'll be there all right ... don't you worry about that ... I'll give Snipe a slap round the lugs and tell Mike to shut up ... but if it all goes mammeries up don't be looking to me to cheer yiz up ...

[Cap'n Grumpy]

Ohhh I'll be there all right ... don't you worry about that ... I'll give Snipe a slap round the lugs and tell Mike to shut up ...

Sounds like a plan - I'll maybe do similar.

Anyone else to give Snipe a slap and tell Mike to shut up?

Might be more fun than the rugby!

[Snipe Watson]

Ohhh I'll be there all right ... don't you worry about that ... I'll give Snipe a slap round the lugs and tell Mike to shut up ...

Sounds like a plan - I'll maybe do similar.

Anyone else to give Snipe a slap and tell Mike to shut up?

Might be more fun than the rugby!

Ye see you two gurny gubbed oul ballixii are all talk so yiz are.....as usual....

[Cap'n Grumpy]

Ohhh I'll be there all right ... don't you worry about that ... I'll give Snipe a slap round the lugs and tell Mike to shut up ...

Sounds like a plan - I'll maybe do similar.

Anyone else to give Snipe a slap and tell Mike to shut up?

Might be more fun than the rugby!

Ye see you two gurny gubbed oul ballixii are all talk so yiz are.....as usual....

Yep!

How else does one tell Mike to shut up?