Silly Season Limerick Competition

Talk about the men in white, and everything Ulster!!

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Gerald the Mole
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Re: Silly Season Limerick Competition

Post by Gerald the Mole » Mon May 29, 2017 10:28 pm

There once was a poster from strabane
who's limericks never quite went to plan
When he was asked why
he'd always sigh
and say, "I always try and fit far too many syllables into the last line !!"

Bart S
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Re: Silly Season Limerick Competition

Post by Bart S » Mon May 29, 2017 11:05 pm

Our backrow includes Clive Ross
Who was looking like utter dross
But with the effort he gave
He stopped being a Dave
And if he left it would be a loss

DWFinn
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Re: Silly Season Limerick Competition

Post by DWFinn » Mon May 29, 2017 11:08 pm

There once was a Saffa called Robbie
Who played rugby as a bit of a hobby
Now his handsome ol' head
Sells overpriced bread
To the mentally-challenged and snobby

Bart S
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Re: Silly Season Limerick Competition

Post by Bart S » Mon May 29, 2017 11:11 pm

We've an outhalf called young PJ
One of our finest talents I'd say
Many points he has scored
But for limericks he's ignored
Right up to this very day

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Dave
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Re: Silly Season Limerick Competition

Post by Dave » Mon May 29, 2017 11:30 pm

There was an ole vampire called Mable
She bucked a horse in a stable
The horse got pregnant and had a lad
The kid was Irish qualified and hung like his dad
But Joe said his face was not suitable
I have my own tv channel, what have you got?

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Tender
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Re: Silly Season Limerick Competition

Post by Tender » Tue May 30, 2017 7:12 am

Dave I almost choked on my toast when I read the first line. Then I realised you'd somewhat altered the infamous version.
Support the Team, not the regime
Guinness is Good For You.

jackthelad
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Re: Silly Season Limerick Competition

Post by jackthelad » Tue May 30, 2017 9:55 am

A Yank Ulster fan called Alice
Used Semtex to make a big phallus.
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And part of her anus in Dallas
Smear me in chocolate and throw me to the Lesbians.

rumncoke
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Re: Silly Season Limerick Competition

Post by rumncoke » Tue May 30, 2017 11:44 am

For to good of his ageing brain
Baggy's now living in Spain
Paellas and wine
Help pass the time
But what he misses most is the rain.


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Russ
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Re: Silly Season Limerick Competition

Post by Russ » Tue May 30, 2017 12:56 pm

Poster above is a twunt
He cant kick or punt
He's had a pop at baggy
It went down all saggy
Poster above is a twunt

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DWFinn
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Re: Silly Season Limerick Competition

Post by DWFinn » Tue May 30, 2017 1:41 pm

There once was a man called Drico
Whose biography says he's a thicko
His da had the stock
To pay off Blackrock
And there's nothing amusing about the inequality of opportunity caused by private versus state education

JC4PM

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BaggyTrousers
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Re: Silly Season Limerick Competition

Post by BaggyTrousers » Tue May 30, 2017 3:39 pm

jackthelad wrote:A Yank Ulster fan called Alice
Used Semtex to make a big phallus.
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And part of her anus in Dallas

Liking your work Jack, good call on Deysel by the way, when you said you'd emigrated I hadn't thought it was to the FIRFU offices in D4. :lol:
Support the team and coaching staff. Forget the rest,BUT NEVER MOVE ON.

FIRFU - FU'CK YOU ONE AND ALL, CAVING IN TO SPONSORS, SACKING THE INNOCENT FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE, SHAMEFUL BASTA'RDS. YOU'VE LOST MY SUPPORT & I HOPE MORE ULSTERMEN & WOMEN

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BaggyTrousers
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Re: Silly Season Limerick Competition

Post by BaggyTrousers » Tue May 30, 2017 3:43 pm

We've signed a big lad called Jean Deysel
Who slaughters more than wot died in Heysel
Some say the signings bad
But I'm fairly glad
Smart signing I'm thinking to mysel'.

Topical or wot?
Support the team and coaching staff. Forget the rest,BUT NEVER MOVE ON.

FIRFU - FU'CK YOU ONE AND ALL, CAVING IN TO SPONSORS, SACKING THE INNOCENT FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE, SHAMEFUL BASTA'RDS. YOU'VE LOST MY SUPPORT & I HOPE MORE ULSTERMEN & WOMEN

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BaggyTrousers
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Re: Silly Season Limerick Competition

Post by BaggyTrousers » Tue May 30, 2017 3:54 pm

Ulster's CEO is named Fit
Some think his CV's full of sh1t
As I said to my nurse
It could have been worse
Our CEO could be Dee'sTit

Charter Charter Nawthen Åland
Charter Charter Nawthen Åland
Charter Charter Nawthen Åland
As the Saints go marching on the 12th.

UD Aaaaaaaaaa, UD Aaaaaaaaaa UD Aaaaaaaa
UD Aaaaaaaaaa, UD Aaaaaaaaaa UD Aaaaaaa-aaaaaah
UD Aaaaaaaaaa, UD Aaaaaaaaaa UD Aaaaaaaa
UD Aaaaaaaaaa, UD Aaaaaaaaaa UD Aaaaaaa-aaaaaah
Support the team and coaching staff. Forget the rest,BUT NEVER MOVE ON.

FIRFU - FU'CK YOU ONE AND ALL, CAVING IN TO SPONSORS, SACKING THE INNOCENT FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE, SHAMEFUL BASTA'RDS. YOU'VE LOST MY SUPPORT & I HOPE MORE ULSTERMEN & WOMEN

rumncoke
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Re: Silly Season Limerick Competition

Post by rumncoke » Tue May 30, 2017 4:06 pm

Russ please old limerick goes

russ a man from
Buckingham
Stood on a Bridge in Buckingham
Watching the stunts
Of the C-NTs in the punts
And the stunts of the c-NTs who were Buckin ' em

If you got to be course -





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Dave
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Re: Silly Season Limerick Competition

Post by Dave » Tue May 30, 2017 4:26 pm

60 years of writing fcuking terrible sh1tty poems. That one was creepy and weird.
I have my own tv channel, what have you got?

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