Silly Season Limerick Competition

[Gerald the Mole]

There once was a poster from strabane
who's limericks never quite went to plan
When he was asked why
he'd always sigh
and say, "I always try and fit far too many syllables into the last line !!"

[Bart S]

Our backrow includes Clive Ross
Who was looking like utter dross
But with the effort he gave
He stopped being a Dave
And if he left it would be a loss

[DWFinn]

There once was a Saffa called Robbie
Who played rugby as a bit of a hobby
Now his handsome ol' head
Sells overpriced bread
To the mentally-challenged and snobby

[Bart S]

We've an outhalf called young PJ
One of our finest talents I'd say
Many points he has scored
But for limericks he's ignored
Right up to this very day

[Dave]

There was an ole vampire called Mable
She bucked a horse in a stable
The horse got pregnant and had a lad
The kid was Irish qualified and hung like his dad
But Joe said his face was not suitable

[Tender]

Dave I almost choked on my toast when I read the first line. Then I realised you'd somewhat altered the infamous version.

[jackthelad]

A Yank Ulster fan called Alice
Used Semtex to make a big phallus.
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And part of her anus in Dallas

[rumncoke]

For to good of his ageing brain
Baggy's now living in Spain
Paellas and wine
Help pass the time
But what he misses most is the rain.


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[Russ]

Poster above is a twunt
He cant kick or punt
He's had a pop at baggy
It went down all saggy
Poster above is a twunt

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[DWFinn]

There once was a man called Drico
Whose biography says he's a thicko
His da had the stock
To pay off Blackrock
And there's nothing amusing about the inequality of opportunity caused by private versus state education

JC4PM

[BaggyTrousers]

A Yank Ulster fan called Alice
Used Semtex to make a big phallus.
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And part of her anus in Dallas

Liking your work Jack, good call on Deysel by the way, when you said you'd emigrated I hadn't thought it was to the FIRFU offices in D4.

[BaggyTrousers]

We've signed a big lad called Jean Deysel
Who slaughters more than wot died in Heysel
Some say the signings bad
But I'm fairly glad
Smart signing I'm thinking to mysel'.

Topical or wot?

[BaggyTrousers]

Ulster's CEO is named Fit
Some think his CV's full of sh1t
As I said to my nurse
It could have been worse
Our CEO could be Dee'sTit

Charter Charter Nawthen Åland
Charter Charter Nawthen Åland
Charter Charter Nawthen Åland
As the Saints go marching on the 12th.

UD Aaaaaaaaaa, UD Aaaaaaaaaa UD Aaaaaaaa
UD Aaaaaaaaaa, UD Aaaaaaaaaa UD Aaaaaaa-aaaaaah
UD Aaaaaaaaaa, UD Aaaaaaaaaa UD Aaaaaaaa
UD Aaaaaaaaaa, UD Aaaaaaaaaa UD Aaaaaaa-aaaaaah

[rumncoke]

Russ please old limerick goes

russ a man from
Buckingham
Stood on a Bridge in Buckingham
Watching the stunts
Of the C-NTs in the punts
And the stunts of the c-NTs who were Buckin ' em

If you got to be course -





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[Dave]

60 years of writing fcuking terrible sh1tty poems. That one was creepy and weird.