Joke of the Day

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rumncoke
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by rumncoke » Fri Jun 26, 2020 3:54 am

Tell the truth Big Mevryn you went to the sperm bank .

The nurse took one look at you and said

"Monkeys aren't an endangered species yet "
Within this carapace of skepticism there lives an optimist

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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Alister Scott » Fri Jul 03, 2020 9:18 am

Gorillas are though.

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big mervyn
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by big mervyn » Tue Aug 18, 2020 12:02 pm

In 1982 Cliff Richard dated tennis star Sue Barker.

That year she remained unseeded.
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big mervyn
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by big mervyn » Sat Mar 13, 2021 12:11 am

Anybody know how to delegate?

I'm asking for a friend ...
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armalig
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by armalig » Sat Mar 13, 2021 9:15 am

The other night my Mrs cornered me - demanding an answer ....do I love HER or football ...??
I whispered to her “ love ... why don’t U open your legs “
and I nutmegged her

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Dave
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Dave » Sat Mar 13, 2021 2:39 pm

Frank Murphy.
I have my own tv channel, what have you got?

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solidarity
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by solidarity » Mon Mar 15, 2021 9:43 pm

Alan Turing was an English mathematician, computer scientist, logician, cryptanalyst, philosopher, and theoretical biologist, famously playing a crucial role in cracking intercepted coded messages from Nazis.
Less well known was his sister Kay who was in charge of breakfasts.

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Dave
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Dave » Mon Mar 15, 2021 10:22 pm

Breakfasts are more important, IMHO.
I have my own tv channel, what have you got?

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big mervyn
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by big mervyn » Mon Mar 15, 2021 10:28 pm

What does a Nazi eat for breakfast?

Luftwaffles.
Volunteer at an animal sanctuary; it will fill you with joy , despair, but most of all love, unconditional love of the animals.
Big Neville Southall

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Dave
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Dave » Mon Mar 15, 2021 10:35 pm

I have my own tv channel, what have you got?

rumncoke
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by rumncoke » Fri Jun 11, 2021 11:18 am

last Easter ( 2020 ) had a book

"Blood in the Bowl " by Ida Kidney-Stone

True to life and bl--dy scary not recommended for the faint heated
Within this carapace of skepticism there lives an optimist

justinr73
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by justinr73 » Fri Jun 11, 2021 11:27 am

Just as long as it had a happy ending, old boy.

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big mervyn
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by big mervyn » Fri Jun 11, 2021 1:55 pm

justinr73 wrote:
Fri Jun 11, 2021 11:27 am
Just as long as it had a happy ending, old boy.
Do you get that on the NHS? :shock:
Volunteer at an animal sanctuary; it will fill you with joy , despair, but most of all love, unconditional love of the animals.
Big Neville Southall

justinr73
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by justinr73 » Fri Jun 11, 2021 4:06 pm

big mervyn wrote:
Fri Jun 11, 2021 1:55 pm
justinr73 wrote:
Fri Jun 11, 2021 11:27 am
Just as long as it had a happy ending, old boy.
Do you get that on the NHS? :shock:
There’s an even longer waiting list than usual.

rumncoke
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by rumncoke » Sat Jun 12, 2021 9:54 am

What's happy ending ? an MRI? a CT Scan? a NM Full Body Scan ?a Covid test/ self isolation ?and a saturation biopsy with some of that still to be completed about about 3-4Ks worth saved thanks to the NHS -- completed in about 2 months, maybe private would be quicker but who wants bad news quickly.

Happy days are here again
The drunks are drinking beer again
Happy days are here again
Within this carapace of skepticism there lives an optimist

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