Joke of the Day

[Cap'n Grumpy]

Possible appeared here before, but maybe not.

Two ministers would meet each Sunday morning, riding their bicycles to their respective churches Then one Sunday one of the ministers was walking.

"My what happened to your bike?" asked the other.

"Can you believe that someone in my congregation stole it?"

"No!" said his fellow, then an idea struck him: "You want to know how to get your bike back? Next Sunday, give a fire and brimstone sermon on the Ten Commandments and when you get to the part about Thou shall not steal, just look out into the congregation and see who looks guilty."

Well the next Sunday the minister comes riding up on his bike.

"Hey -- I see my suggestion worked."

"Well sort of -- I was going along real good on the Ten Commandments and when I got to the part about Adultery I remembered where I left the bike!"

[Cap'n Grumpy]

It must be quite some time since Tiger Woods was unable to drive more than 200m

Rumour has it that cops in America couldn't find the Woods for the trees the other night.

[fermain]

This thread is meant be funny!

[Cap'n Grumpy]

This thread is meant be funny!

What's funny about that?

[Shan]

Peter Robinson went to his optician as his eye was watering.The optician said "I think I know what's wrong....there has been something stuck in your iris"

[Shan]

The parades commission has given Iris Robinson permission to be banged more times than a lambeg drum, provided it's taken up the traditional route.

[fuzzylogic]

The DUP have cancelled their annual Christmas dinner in the Europa next year because it turns out too many people have been slipping into Robinsons for a quick one!

Rumour has it that she was involved in a threesome with Reg Empey & Martin McGuinness. Apparently Reg took her up the Waterside & Martin took her up the Bogside!!

What do Iris Robinson and IKEA have in common?
One dodgy screw and the whole cabinet falls apart!

Iris tells Peter she has a friend in financial trouble what should she do?
Peter says Fcuk him....

[WhiteKnightoftheWeld]

just wondering if adebayor sprinted off this time, before dropping to his his knees in front of the gunners?



Day 2, and one team out already after a shoot-out.

[mikerob]

Peter has said that Iris made him happy and sad at the same time... she told him that he had a bigger d!ck than Martin McGuinness.

[Alister Scott]

The Lock Keepers Inn is now serving "Iris Coffee"

It's made with 59 year-old Bush

[cardoc]

The Lock Keepers Inn is now serving "Iris Coffee"

It's made with 59 year-old Bush

Included with above is the chef's speciality desert " SPICY HOT ORANGE TART"

[WhiteKnightoftheWeld]

i know how the folk in haiti feel.
last time i had 30 aftershocks i couldnt find my house either!

[Alister Scott]

The Lock Keepers Inn is now serving "Iris Coffee"

It's made with 59 year-old Bush

Included with above is the chef's speciality desert " SPICY HOT ORANGE TART"

Allergy Advice - WARNING: the above dish is prepared in an area where nuts are served!

Does the price on the menu include "Service charge"?

[Surrey Red Hand]

LIVERPOOL FC

Liverpool matches have been moved to the GAY channel

The sight of 11 arseholes being pummelled for 90 minutes was too explicit for Sky Sports

[Freddie Benson]

Two planes full of 'cheeky Scousers' left from John Lennon airport yesterday bound for Haiti.
Those lovable rogues have generously agreed to assist with the looting.