ASK THE EXPERT

[Russ]

When's the cut-off point for wishing people a happy new year?

100% of the time it is inappropriate

Like in Tesco

[BaggyTrousers]

When's the cut-off point for wishing people a happy new year?

Stumbled upon this late. I'm afraid Russ has sold you a pup Merv, question is did you buy it?

As far as I am concerned there is an acceptable window for wishing HNY to friends and acquaintances. It starts at 12.00 midnight, not a second earlier and is acceptable with friends for 4 or 5 days max. thereafter its just another day.

Shouts of HNY aimed at you by randomers, such as ShopKeeps, BarKeeps, SpottyCheckout Yutes should never be acknowledged, never mind returned. Allow them their tut tuts but never return the wish for its a 1p to a £1 it is entirely lacking the slightest feckin' concern as to whether your year goes swimmingly or if your dog is crushed 'neath the wheels of a pantechnicon or savaged by a passing dingo. Whether you wife fecks of with a swine of greater financial means or your entire family succumb to a virulent pestilence of biblical proportions.

These people don't give a flying frig about you - ignore their seasonal tripe but remember to give them a hearty hello next time you see them, after all they are only fulfilling their minor role in the great estate of capitalism.

[rorybestsbigbaldnoggin]

I have just stumbled upon this thread.


Reading it has been one of the more bizarre experiences of my life thus far.

[rorybestsbigbaldnoggin]

I feel I may be savaged for asking this - I plead ignorance, having only started seriously following Ulster in the last year;


Why are Leinster referred to as Mexico?

[Russ]

I feel I may be savaged for asking this - I plead ignorance, having only started seriously following Ulster in the last year;


Why are Leinster referred to as Mexico?

Dont need the expert for that one
South of the border!

They call us gringos

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk

[Snipe Watson]

I feel I may be savaged for asking this - I plead ignorance, having only started seriously following Ulster in the last year;


Why are Leinster referred to as Mexico?

Dont need the expert for that one
South of the border!

They call us gringos

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk

South of the border, down Mexico way. Its a Gene Autry song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZYPa6tI43Q

[Kofi Annan]

Can one take a pîss while doing handstands ? And if so, is there any advice you may have to give,

Yours

Kofi

[Cap'n Grumpy]

Can one take a pîss while doing handstands ?

It depends on who you are taking the pi$h from while you are doing your handstands .....

if so, is there any advice you may have to give,

Don't take the pi$h from someone who angers easily - you may get a kick in the head while you're vulnerable standing upside-down

[big mervyn]

Can one take a pîss while doing handstands ? And if so, is there any advice you may have to give,

Yours

Kofi

Keep yer bake shut.


You might also want to do that whilst doing the pissing/haun staun thing ...

[BaggyTrousers]

Can one take a pîss while doing handstands ? And if so, is there any advice you may have to give,

Yours

Kofi

Assuming that you are addressing that directly to me as "The Expert" Kofi, the answer is no, at my advanced age the effort of handstands would have me soil myself before I ever got near the vertical.

In general I'd say that it is certainly not recommended even if physically possible. It would be similar to pishing into the wind with the near certainty of "getting your own back". Unless you are a devotee of "watersports", I'd give it a miss.

You've been helped.

[Cockatrice]

Dear baggy do you know if the non alcohol Family Stand is now an alcohol stand after Friday evening when they allowed drink in?

I mean I tried to slip in with my new plastic hip flask to avoid the metal detectors and everyone was just carrying drink in past the security. If so I may revert to backpack filled with beer and start selling it.

[BR]

Dear baggy do you know if the non alcohol Family Stand is now an alcohol stand after Friday evening when they allowed drink in?

I mean I tried to slip in with my new plastic hip flask to avoid the metal detectors and everyone was just carrying drink in past the security. If so I may revert to backpack filled with beer and start selling it.

It seems likely that the dry stand will not be until the new bats are in. On an attempt to reduce congestion around the terrace bar.

[BR]

Dear baggy do you know if the non alcohol Family Stand is now an alcohol stand after Friday evening when they allowed drink in?

I mean I tried to slip in with my new plastic hip flask to avoid the metal detectors and everyone was just carrying drink in past the security. If so I may revert to backpack filled with beer and start selling it.

It seems likely that the dry stand will not be until the new bars are in. On an attempt to reduce congestion around the terrace bar.

[Russ]

There are rumours that the family stand is a beer fuelled stand on european nighta

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk

[BaggyTrousers]

Dear baggy do you know if the non alcohol Family Stand is now an alcohol stand after Friday evening when they allowed drink in?

I mean I tried to slip in with my new plastic hip flask to avoid the metal detectors and everyone was just carrying drink in past the security. If so I may revert to backpack filled with beer and start selling it.

It would appear Cockers that the non-alcoholic Family Stand has a future, albeit a brief one, as a place where the devil's buttermilk may be supped on nights when the match is sold out.

As BR says there is dreadful congestion around the bar/toilet area and why Health & Safety feel a solution is to have yet more folk seeking alcohol in that area is beyond my keenly logical thought processes. My opinion is that if folk were not allowed to bring the booze into the stand many would not bother, they on the other hand assume folk would simply stand at the bar area and block it to passing traffic.

In any event, come the advent of the new Old Stand, the Aquinas Stand will doubtless be an area of puritanical misery with nothing but the gassy soft drink belches to be heard as father's of weans pine of a pint.

On a serious note, I hope your smuggling of alcohol into a prohibited area is discovered and you are banned form the ground. This expert believes that you should adhere to the terms of the ticket you purchased. If you cannot contain alcoholic urges for 80 minutes then don't buy a ticket for that area.