The Formula 1 Grand Prix Seasons 2016-2026

[Dave]

Formula One is rubbish, admits Ecclestone
01-03-11
BERNIE Ecclestone has confessed that Formula One is horlix and he’s sick of looking at it.

Nothing beats the romance of the Italian grand prix at Monza
The world’s longest midlife crisis has spent the last 30 years somehow managing to convince people to gawp at a 200mph rollerskate that weighs less than your dinner and costs more than your house.

The deception has made him one of the world’s richest men under four foot tall and has been described by financial experts as ‘a sporting ponzi scheme with lots of big-titted blonde women milling around for no apparent reason’.

Now Ecclestone has finally admitted that Formula One is not so much a spectacle as it is an unremitting procession of eye-clawing dreariness enjoyed by people who need to have a right good feck word with themselves.

He said: “Even if we make it rain spacehips onto the track every five minutes and tune the engines to sound like Kylie Minogue reaching a spectacular climax it’s still going to be like staring at a stretch of the M25 but with an even higher concentration of tedious men with too much money sitting in pointlessly expensive cars.

“You can carry on watching in the hope of a really good pile-up but you may as well watch Eastenders in the hope that Arthur comes out of his allotment shed with Dirty Den’s head on a stick.”

Earlier this year Ecclestone drew up a series of ideas to make the sport more exciting, including the use of agent provocateurs to provoke a revolution in Bahrain and then attempting to stage grand prix right in the middle of it.

But the plan was abandoned when a feasibility study showed motor racing was better at quelling unrest than a job-lot of tranquilser darts.

Ecclestone now hopes to spice up this year’s British grand prix by stopping it halfway through for a poetry reading by Sir Ian McKellen.

[damianmcr]

Not a chance Mike. Pump money into them all you like but they wont make any improvements this season.

[BaggyTrousers]

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[Snipe Watson]

Formula one is without any doubt the most pointless thing on TV that is passed as sport.

[Russ]

I like F1

Granted I work for a firm who has a large vested interest (in a team that sucks)

[Dave]

Bernie Eccleston. That is all.

[damianmcr]

Its like flyes to tom kite in here. I suppose we can chat about F1 once everyone who doesn't like it has told us.

[Russ]

Mercedes dominate again this year but excited to see red bull williams and ferrari have a good go at each other

[Dave]

I like wendy ball but realised long time ago not to chat about it here for decent chat. I'm on a forum for that. I'm sure there are decent forums for F1.

[damianmcr]

I like wendy ball but realised long time ago not to chat about it here for decent chat. I'm on a forum for that. I'm sure there are decent forums for F1.

I don't think you get the point of the general chat sub forum.

[damianmcr]

Mercedes dominate again this year but excited to see red bull williams and ferrari have a good go at each other

And have a good laugh at McLaren at the same time?

Ferrari are looking a lot better this season. Kimi seems to feel good in this years car.

[big mervyn]

I like wendy ball but realised long time ago not to chat about it here for decent chat. I'm on a forum for that. I'm sure there are decent forums for F1.

I don't think you get the point of the general chat sub forum.

Ballix! Here's me thinking it was to facilitate the sleggin' of everything non rugby .

[Dave]

I like wendy ball but realised long time ago not to chat about it here for decent chat. I'm on a forum for that. I'm sure there are decent forums for F1.

I don't think you get the point of the general chat sub forum.

I do damian I'm not that thick. I'm just saying if you want decent chat go elsewhere. I'm offering advice and not telling you what to do. Enjoy the chat anyway.

[Dave]

I was first to work this morning in my car. I declare myself gold medal champion and through to F1 semi finals.

[damianmcr]

Just banter Davey.