The UAFC

Ulster's CEO is called Shane,
His CV is held by some in disdain,
His plan it sounds great,
The world we will dominate,
With players who are born again.

There was a young man called Marcel
He came here to give the opposition hell
But he only has one knee
He really needs three
For he wrecked one the first time he fell

BaggyTrousers wrote:... the Summer Limerick Competition.

Rules:
Your Limerick should be in standard five-line form
Lines 1,2 & 5 should rhyme as should 3 & 4, no arty farty none rhyming crap, though if it hints at a rhyme leeway will be provided
Every Limerick should be about a player, coach or office person up to & including Fit.
The winner will be the one that comes closest to making me spit out my coffee.

Just a pity you didn't include in the rules that the limerick should scan ...

Maybe that was taken as read ........ by some, but clearly not all!

Cap'n Grumpy wrote:

BaggyTrousers wrote:... the Summer Limerick Competition.

Rules:
Your Limerick should be in standard five-line form
Lines 1,2 & 5 should rhyme as should 3 & 4, no arty farty none rhyming crap, though if it hints at a rhyme leeway will be provided
Every Limerick should be about a player, coach or office person up to & including Fit.
The winner will be the one that comes closest to making me spit out my coffee.

Just a pity you didn't include in the rules that the limerick should scan ...

Maybe that was taken as read ........ by some, but clearly not all!

A Limerick always should scan
And surely Shan is our man
For he could compose
Some appropriate prose
Down n his caravan

Cap'n Grumpy wrote:Our coaches seemingly don’t gel
And our team doesn’t play all that well
But that’s not the reason
For our really bad season
It’s cos of our poor A.I.L.

This is almost highbrow compared to some attempts..... I do love me a good limerick.

Muddy Bless wrote:

Cap'n Grumpy wrote:Our coaches seemingly don’t gel
And our team doesn’t play all that well
But that’s not the reason
For our really bad season
It’s cos of our poor A.I.L.

This is almost highbrow compared to some attempts..... I do love me a good limerick.

Is "good Limerick" not an oxymoron?

Shan?

Our dear CEO often tells fibs
Our DoR an experimental Les Kiss
Clarke and Doak
Would make you boke
We await our saviour Jonno Gibbes

On the message board UAFC
Was a debate around a player or three
Asked to leave or let go
Someone may know
In other leagues they can tear up a tree

Cap'n Grumpy wrote:

BaggyTrousers wrote:... the Summer Limerick Competition.

Rules:
Your Limerick should be in standard five-line form
Lines 1,2 & 5 should rhyme as should 3 & 4, no arty farty none rhyming crap, though if it hints at a rhyme leeway will be provided
Every Limerick should be about a player, coach or office person up to & including Fit.
The winner will be the one that comes closest to making me spit out my coffee.

Just a pity you didn't include in the rules that the limerick should scan ...

Maybe that was taken as read ........ by some, but clearly not all!

No need Grumps, we have machines for that these days, some can even print, copy and email forebye.

Yeah, I noticed but you know me, I didn't like to be rude.

A Monaghan gentleman called Bowe

Down the wing like a rocket he'd go

He was felled by a Puma

And there followed a rumour

That he'd started to run very slow.

I don't mind if our lads lose some games,
As long as they don't play like dames,
But if they are trying,
season tix I'll keep buying,
And lumber Les Kiss with the blame.

BaggyTrousers wrote:.... you know me, I didn't like to be rude.

That must be a record.

Keeping a New Year Resolution into May!

Don't worry - I do know you and you'll soon be back to normal.


(or what passes for normal in your case)

Muddy Bless wrote:

Cap'n Grumpy wrote:Our coaches seemingly don’t gel
And our team doesn’t play all that well
But that’s not the reason
For our really bad season
It’s cos of our poor A.I.L.

This is almost highbrow compared to some attempts..... I do love me a good limerick.

Muddy, I love messing about with words too. When I was reading these I thought back over 50 years to the man who probably sparked the interest in me. When I was about 10 my blessed mother thought I was in need for larnin' til spake praper so she sent me to electrocution.

Turned out it was to a man I already knew, in a kind of way, for my mum & dad wanted to instil a bit of culture in us and often took us to the Lyric Theatre which in those days was in a tiny theatre in an upper floor of Mrs O'Malley's huge house between the Lisburn Road & Malone Road, I think Windsor Avenue.

The leading actor was a guy called Sam McCready and as a young teacher/part-time actor I suppose he was trying to make a few extra bob, so off to Sam's I went on Saturday mornings, a lovely house at the junction of the Kings Road & Sandown Road and there in the front room I was immersed in poetry and rather grand reading.

Anyway, I found this about him on t'internet http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/life/ ... 16350.html I hope he remains in rude good health and keeps educating, entertaining and interesting people in equal measure.

Thanks Sam.

When will the winner be announced?

A terribly nice chap called Peter

Was decent but not a world beater

He inspected a ruck

And the nickname had stuck

Until we spotted his height was two metre