The UAFC

During exploration of the subterranean depths of the UR site, (let's face it, there's not much on the surface), I came across a site intriguingly named Kimble World. To reach Kimble World you must first travel through the loudly labelled site for sports greatest turkeys the FRU and on into the shadowy tomes of SCOOP, full of hieroglyphics of yesterday's news and old hat. Just off to the left of the SCOOP site you will find the portal to Kimble World.

It was with all the dash and delight of a Livingstone or Carter that I excitedly clicked and entered. Scrolling with my cyberlight I found a mould encrusted wall and read the following:

Unfortunately like kimble's head, this site is almost entirely empty.. Presumably a previously disenchanted visitor had scrawled graffitti. Scanning the emptiness I found an official looking sign, 'where to find us', with less excitement than when i first entered this chamber I clicked a lever and entered another room, empty save for a small note under a stone:

The Second Barrier Crew wish you all very a festive Christmas and an even more festive New Year!

We look forward to looking forward, as we nearly always do, except when the fourth barrier crew sneak down and try to steal our wee flegs. .

In the annals of exploration down the ages, explorers have located disappearing worlds, lost worlds and hidden kingdoms. They all had one thing in common, they had something in them, they may have been disappearing worlds but they had something in them that could disappear, hell even the Empty Quarter has signs of life in it. Truly a unique site is Kimble World and one that should be preserved for posterity as a testimony to one man's attempt at nothing. You can gaze upon the creator of this unique emptiness as he features on a wanted poster in the SCOOP site. Why not visit yourself and look into a black hole for a unique view of NOTHING.

tok, a map's no good to him.

He doesny know his left from his right, so how would he know east from west or north from south?

I'm amazed he found his way into kimbleworld. Having discovered the portal (or should that be port hole?), I thought he would have gone "Home"

Ah, ballpark in reflective mood - it's all done with mirrors, that's why you never see him now!

I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions.
What ever you see I swallow immediately
Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike .
I am not cruel, only truthful (except I switch left and right)
The eye of a little god, four-cornered.
Most of the time I meditate on the opposite wall.
It is pink, with speckles. I have looked at it so long
I think it is a part of my heart. But it flickers.
Faces and darkness separate us over and over.
Now I am a lake. A man bends over me,
Searching my reaches for what he really is.
Then he turns to those liars, the candles or the moon.
I see his back, and reflect it faithfully.
He rewards me with tears and an agitation of hands.
I am important to him. He comes and goes.
Each morning it is his face that replaces the darkness.
In me he has drowned a young boy, and in me an old man
Rises toward him day after day, like a terrible fish.


No coddin'!

A happy new year to The full unabridged and Original Kimble and his side kick Cap'n Grumpy. A say sidekick because one is a site and the other isn't.

You know TOK, since my youth I've always had a soft spot for the underdog, or in this case the underworld. It would be remiss of me as a travel writer to fully open this little oasis of emptiness to a wider and eejitologically unsound audience, therefore in the true tradition of all the best explorers, (except that eejit Scott, look where exploring emptiness got him!) I deliberately, as the cap'n has uncovered, laid a trail of false clues. Thereby misleading all but the most determined cleudoed in explorers.

I wish Kimble world well and hope that others will have as many nano seconds of breathing in pure emptiness as I have had on my virgin visit.

Cap'n, great poem, i know you made it up in a spare moment at the office, congratulations though for reasons best left in the memory bank i was reminded of the Ginger Bickie by this little passage of water under a bridge.

I see his back, and reflect it faithfully.
He rewards me with tears and an agitation of hands.
I am important to him. He comes and goes.

That's because the others (higher life forms) have all moved on. They did leave a message - "So long and thanks for all the (terrible) fish!"

Anyone for coffee?

Milliways, perhaps?

How many impossible things have YOU done today?

cap'n didn't know where to post this and sorry for hi-jcking this thread but enjoyed the article in Scoop. Hope everyone has broad shoulders and can take it.

Having exposed that little oasis of emptiness, kimble World to a wider audience but left enough diversionary messages in my travelogue to ward off the yawning masses I paid a follow up visit to it to see how it was coping with its new found 'fame'.

Frankly I am shocked, the owners of this little kingdom of unspoilt beauty, vacuumity and sheer emptiness have sought to commercialise it in the hope of attracting more visitors. It has a tacky poet's corner, with not a poet incite and someone else's dodgey song brutalised. Further along there is something labelled the parallel view with nothing of note except some ramblings about cables and Lake Delia, a sea faring tale that takes place in a beer tent. Ugh, to cap it all they have included one of these tacky maps that look like fire evacuation route from a volcano composed by a drunk on a computer.

Alas the impact of commercialism and the real world has impinged on the once unspoilt beauty of nothing at all. The owners have cashed in their fleeting fame and who could blame them, the sun will open those dark corners, mince the mildew and a lost empty wilderness will be gone forever. Emptiness RIP.

Kimmy if you have nothing to put in the black hole that is masquerading as Kimbleworld I can give you the entire second barrier thread in it’s original form so you can preserve it forever

You should visit it first Rooster before you promise it anything of value.

I did visit it and was glad to get out in one piece, a serious vortex over there, perhaps that's where munch's avatar disappeared to

Serious vortex !!Rooster, good one that!!

The map appeared to have disappeared the last time i visited, perhaps it's like one of those Harry Potter invisibility items. Potter obtained this map where you could locate people moving about just by reading the map.

You know the kind of thing that could happen in the beer tent, 'ah I see from the map the cap'n is at the bar, funny i don't remember him asking me did i want a pint or a wee bottle of whisky'.

I never offered anyone a wee bottle of whiskey!

I happened to have one in my hand when they extended theirs in greeting. When I responded, they palmed it - the thieving *@$*@#%*$ !!!!

YOU would never be so dishonest, BP.

FOUR times it happened - I think they worked as a gang!