The off side rule - does yer sister/partner have a clue?

[HwoodMike2umate]

Afraid i dont know how to set up one of those Vote things that people put up here.

A simple YES or No is sufficient.

[HwoodMike2umate]

NO and NO

[Snipe Watson]

yes & no

[AyeYerMa]

Don't have one & yes.

[shamalicious]

I know the football and rugby offside rules so I think that qualifies me to say that sexist plonkers like Gray and Keys can pi$$ off.

[for dog and ulcer]

Never mind the better half- I don't think I understand the rugby offside rules now or at least their interpretation by referees and especially assistant referees.

[wrayzo]

Whats the off side rule?

[backawaygoonahead]

I know the football and rugby offside rules so I think that qualifies me to say that sexist plonkers like Gray and Keys can pi$$ off.

Yeah wee Shammy, they are numpties but I guess you just laugh along with all the rest of your sex at those hilarious bints on Loose Women and as for all those adverts aimed at women which have a stupid man as their punchline................I bet you roll around the floor roaring your sweet little female head off?

If I'm wrong about any individual snippet of this please accept my unreserved apology despite my normal routine regarding never apologising.

That said they deserve what they get 1) stupid schoolboy humour (I prefer immensely clever schoolboy humour) 2) They didn't Learn the lessons of Big Ron "lazy n******" Atkinson who really really deserved what he got.

We can look forward to seeing Andy Gray's future "docu-apology" as Big Ron tried with shockingly bad grace a year or three ago.

Ahem .............I digress............ maybe/perhaps* in my case.

Explained in the usual fashion with cruet set and sauce bottles on more than one occasion.

[shamalicious]

I know the football and rugby offside rules so I think that qualifies me to say that sexist plonkers like Gray and Keys can pi$$ off.

Yeah wee Shammy, they are numpties but I guess you just laugh along with all the rest of your sex at those hilarious bints on Loose Women and as for all those adverts aimed at women which have a stupid man as their punchline................I bet you roll around the floor roaring your sweet little female head off?

Got me wrong there Backaway, can't stand them or the programme! And can't say I do criticise a bloke's ability to do his job based on his gender

[Cooperman]

This is an explanation from 2006 if it helps.


Offside rule explanation for Girls:



You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind
the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and
which you must have.

The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is
eyeing them with desire.
Both of you have forgotten your purses.
It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if
you had no money to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.
Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of
the shop and sees your dilemma.

She prepares to throw her purse to you.
If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the
other shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper
and, *whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper, catch
the purse and buy the shoes.

Always remembering that until the purse had *actually been
thrown* it would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper.


But if there is another friend casually leaning
against the counter are they interfering with the purchase?

[darkside lightside]

earlier this evening:

DL: oh yes, do you know what offside is?
Ms DL [with unexpected assurance]: not really, I just know it's when too many people are in front of the line...
DL:
Ms DL: what are you laughing at?

[backawaygoonahead]

WOMEN LINESMEN - IT'LL NEVER WORK

offside.jpg (55.59 KiB) Viewed 261 times

On the other hand, she has no balls to scratch when she should be watching the offside line so perhaps she might be the best ever -certainly made the right decision on the weekend.

[WhiteKnightoftheWeld]

same person.
no she doesn't.

[backawaygoonahead]

I know the football and rugby offside rules so I think that qualifies me to say that sexist plonkers like Gray and Keys can pi$$ off.

Yeah wee Shammy, they are numpties but I guess you just laugh along with all the rest of your sex at those hilarious bints on Loose Women and as for all those adverts aimed at women which have a stupid man as their punchline................I bet you roll around the floor roaring your sweet little female head off?

Got me wrong there Backaway, can't stand them or the programme! And can't say I do criticise a bloke's ability to do his job based on his gender

I'd love to believe that Shammy but people seldom confess to their less attractive characteristics - how can I be sure you aren't just another woman who will tell a bloke whatever is required to keep him where she wants him ?

My hat comes off in a doffing fashion to the wily skills of the fairer sex. Well I say fairer but as we all know gentlemen of a certain age have the remarkable facility to get better looking - I am a classic example of the type, albeit I may have started from a less than stellar rung on the handsome scale - sadly all the paints and powders applied appear to take a toll on the average lady (thank Christ Mrs Backaway is a natural beauty who never used much make-up) so of course all things are relative.

Still lets not fall out, unlike Mr Gray & Mr Keyes, the following is not my idea of weemen:

weemen.jpg (102.27 KiB) Viewed 238 times

I think that they should each be made to wear these hats - Gray & Keyes of course, not weemen.

[Shan]

(thank Christ Mrs Backaway is a natural beauty who never used much make-up)

Nice to see you giving thanks to the Lord. I wouldn't be surprised if you are quoting from the bible next week and perhaps setting up your own religious community by the summer.

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