Plenty of experts on here

[ColinM]

Why not put your hats in the ring http://www.ulsterrugby.com/news/9208.php

[Cornerfleg]

I'm all but there however I fear my "excellent interpersonal skills" may let me down ... I fart a lot!

[Rooster]

What's these degree things you need these days
All I know is 90 degrees is either a right angle or too damned hot to go out in the sun

[Cornerfleg]

What's these degree things you need these days
All I know is 90 degrees is either a right angle or too damned hot to go out in the sun

I can't believe you mocked a man and his semi colon for being posh!

[WhiteKnightoftheWeld]

the words 'ambition and drive' are where i realise im not what they're looking for.

granted, i could do the job with my eyes closed, whilst perfecting my putting on a specially installed '12 on the stimp' carpet for my plush office. i'd suspect that they're looking for less of the brilliance i would offer and more of the "yes sir, happy to grind without thinking up anything useful" puppet that the ulster-rugby-loving public have become conditioned

[Cornerfleg]

Exactly Mr Knight ... but they couldn't exactly come out and say

Job Vacancy ...

Here's the Interview: What school did you go to?

[AyeYerMa]

I remember (just) having a series of careers 'lessons' and meetings with a careers officer when I were a lad at school.

They gave you that whole spiel about how to fill in forms, how to 'respond' at interview... That kind of thing.

In regard to the question "Are you a team player?" or it's derivatives you were told always to reply in the affirmative and immediately cite an example. Except... (loosely) "In one very specific set of circumstances" of course everyone in the class immediately asked what those circumstances were and we were told to ask in our personal meeting.

I didn't have to ask. The "specific set of circumstances" was it being clearly and immediately obvious that that you weren't, I was told never to claim to be a team player but to deflect the question by replying that I was "task focussed", which is apparently interview speak for being a grumpy git who couldn't care less if everyone else in the office got typhoid.

It doesn't fool anyone by the way. the "task focussed" thing...

[cables]

Heyyerma did your school also teach you to appoint a fall 'guy' soon after your own success at the interview?

Business Development Executive (26 - 40 £K) - accountable to Senior Sales Manager
Senior Sales Manager (must be more than £40K) - accountable to CEO
CEO (must be a lotta more than £40K) - accountable to - who the hell knows!

Do UR need this structure?
What does the SSM and CEO do?

[Rooster]

Heyyerma did your school also teach you to appoint a fall 'guy' soon after your own success at the interview?

Business Development Executive (26 - 40 �K) - accountable to Senior Sales Manager
Senior Sales Manager (must be more than �40K) - accountable to CEO
CEO (must be a lotta more than �40K) - accountable to - who the hell knows!

Do UR need this structure?
What does the SSM and CEO do?

Ah the good old method of moving up the tree so you can sh1t on someone below you and if you can't move up then create another job below your own
Nice bit of deduction what is going on cables

[Jackie Brown]

Where's Kofi?

[backawaygoonahead]

Exactly Mr Knight ... but they couldn't exactly come out and say

Job Vacancy ...

Here's the Interview: What school did you go to?

Perhaps not Fleg but you know as well as I do that by looking for 3rd level education they are attempting to excluse the "riff-raff". Most of the best sales people I know were educated at the University of Native Cunning.

If you want that job done well get a gurrier who likes a bit of commission & is well incentivised, if you want a "face" to match the aspirations of the Ulster Rugger Bugger Fraternity go for a scawler - thats a chap who's been to uni to you pal

We are seeking an enthusiastic creative seller with the ability to work on their own initiative to join our busy sales and marketing team. Educated to degree level in a business related discipline, coupled with at least 3 years sales experience, the successful candidate will have excellent interpersonal skills and the ambition and drive to help ensure the management of existing accounts along with the ability to develop new busines

Reads as follows:

We are looking for a bloke who is an asshugger& not afraid to tell porkies to make the sale. They will be left to their own devices to sink or swim as we are all to busy to be bothered. No gurriers need apply, Uni men (& in theory women) only with a business/marketing degree & 3 years experience (doesn't need to have been successful) but if you can't meet the last 2 requirements but are well connected you'll be the boy for us. The ability to bullshit, and ability to carry a file at all times to create the notion of hard labour along with being able to meet clients without falling asleep plus having the contacts, possibly but not limited to fellow masons should allow you to bring in the odd new client.

I fall short of their requirements in so many ways, some might question my interpersonal skills, but even if not I would not be applying since they failed to interview me for the CEO job and I'm still huffing

[backawaygoonahead]

Where's Kofi?

Theres an awful lot of Kofi in Brazil or so they say. Hope this helps.

[Rooster]

Where's Kofi?

Over in Lybia trying to do a deal with Gaddafy

[backawaygoonahead]

With Rooster's post the "Total Posts" count rose to 250001 therefore I claim the 250,000 th - do I win a prize or is that just for internet scams ?

If the mods want to think up something suitable for my prize, what about a "Get Out of Jail Free Card" so that next time I seriously transgress I can play the card. Wonderful thought - a free sleg at the right poster. Actually it might keep me on the straight and narrow as you can be sure it would be saved for a worthwhile rant at a chube.

[DavyG]

Where's Kofi?

There's an awful lot of Kofi in Brazil or so they say. Hope this helps.

And bananas......