The UAFC

Right, I have to confess that not all of my teeth are my own, an assortment crowns a 4 tooth bridge and an odd assortment of multi-filled gnashers all add up to my winning smile.

Or at least they did until about February when I had my latest in a long line of abscesses, resulting from a boot in the bake when as my teacher suggested I should "tackle them round the ankles boy" and I managed to go lower on a big bloody country bumpkin frae Ballymayna hi, biting onto his boot.

My dentist, the fragrant Ashleigh said that boys bitten his last, I'll make you a temporary plate. Those of you who met me in the latter part of the season will doubtless have noticed that I was auditioning the look of the gap-toothed yokel as I can't stand to have the plate anywhere near my bake. I'd happily live out my days with the gap but Mrs T doesn't like the look and pesters me to wear the plate in public. .

Wind forward to today when Ashleigh again suggests an implant, I counter with what about a partial bridge and we settle on a single Valplast denture, a cunning little devil that it is and a snip at a mere £640.

Cunning little device. She wanted me to get an implant at £2000 but I told her unless she can guarantee my life will not end in the next 20 years I'm not paying more than £100 Stg per year, I'd rather suck soggy Weetabix through a straw.

Now if anyone is still with me, I'm told that the Valplast is hugely more comfortable to wear that a standard acrylic plate, as it simply clips around the adjoining teeth on a flexible so has anyone worn one, is it a bloody con or are they indeed more flexible in the bake without the irritating plate?

Anyone who can advise, step right up.

Whatever you get you'll still be an ugly git, Baggy, so why not save the money and keep the gap-tooth yokel look anyway?

I'll not even charge ya for the advice. How's that for value fer money?

Cap'n Grumpy wrote:Whatever you get you'll still be an ugly git, Baggy, so why not save the money and keep the gap-tooth yokel look anyway?

I'll not even charge ya for the advice. How's that for value fer money?

Seconded!!
You've been helped..........twice.

Should have known you two galoots would have been the replies.

I hope all yer teeth fall out, I'll christen yis the gummy bears.

BaggyTrousers wrote:Should have known you two galoots would have been the replies.

I hope all yer teeth fall out, I'll christen yis the gummy bears.

A lot of mine already have - never bothered to fill the gaps with anything though.

Thankfully the gaps are at the back ...... leaving just the discoloured and crooked ones at the front.

Ugly but (moderately) accepting, that's me!

Aye, that's fine for gremlins like you and Snipe, Grumps, but someone as dashingly attractive and with a magnetic personality - mainly due to my various pinned bones and metal teeth - you can't put a price on maintaining your good looks......... for those of us who have kept them.

Aye - just keep telling yersel that Baggy .....

You only need good looks -- if you don't have a personality

As the song goes "Why was he born so beautiful?"



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

You must be very handsome, rum.

Not now and never close to your mirror image .



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

rumncoke wrote:Not now and never close to your mirror image .



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Id still sodomise you

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

rumncoke wrote:Not now and never close to your mirror image .



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yes, rumsplain to me how I look.