The UAFC

I've gone down a bit of a rabbit hole after a discussion with my brother. We were trying to come up with the best Ulster XV who were actually born in Ulster. I went on to try and make an all-Ulster XV, and all Irish (excluding Ulster)/Irish qualified XV, and an all-foreign XV. Restricted to players who played for Ulster in the professional era, with the current squad excluded. Here's what I came up with:

Ulster-born XV
1. Paddy McAllister
2. Rory Best
3. Simon Best
4. Paddy Johns
5. Jeremy Davidson
6. Stephen Ferris
7. Denis McBride
8. Roger Wilson
9. Neil Doak
10. David Humphreys
11. Andrew Trimble
12. Paddy Wallace
13. Darren Cave
14. Tommy Bowe
15. Bryn Cunningham

Irish/Irish-qualified XV
1. Justin Fitzpatrick
2. Andi Kyriacou
3. Tom Court
4. Dan Tuohy
5. Mick Kearney
6. Sean Reidy
7. Andy Ward
8. Robbie Diack
9. Isaac Boss
10. Niall Malone
11. Grant Henderson
12. Kevin Maggs
13. Jared Payne
14. Louis Ludik
15. Simon Mason

Foreign XV
1. BJ Botha
2. Matt Sexton
3. John Afoa
4. Johann Muller
5. Justin Harrison
6. Pedrie Wannenburg
7. Marcell Coetzee
8. Nick Williams
9. Ruan Pienaar
10. Christian Lelali'ifano
11. Simon Danielli
12. Rob Dewey
13. Paul Steinmetz
14. Stefan Terblanche
15. Charles Piutau

Anyone want to dispute my choices?

We don't seem to have any any really good Ulster-born loosehead props. It came down to McAllister and Adam Macklin, both of whom had a couple of decent seasons, moved on, and had respectable careers elsewhere. And I had to fudge a bit to find wingers for the Irish/IQ XV. Ludik was definitely resident long enough to be Irish-qualified. Not sure about Henderson, but there are websites claiming him as an Irish player. Best I could do.

Mick out.

2MP in.

Grant Henderson out... way out...as far out as possible...far far far away from anywhere near any rugby team ever! Adam D'arcy would be a better shout

BJ was a TH, so can replace Afoa, whose deep vein thrombosis from all those flights rendered him pointless and put Rod Moore in at 1! Ye can also bin Dewey, put Steinmetz at 12 and Constable 13

an=d Ed O'donaghue ahead of Mick K or 2MP

Dewey came here as a Scottish international with a bright future and left a couple of seasons later failing to make the Ballynahnich (I think) 2nds.

One of ulsters worst signings.

Bryan Young at loosehead ahead of macklin and Mcallaater. Andy Warwick should be ahead of those 2 as well. Paddy Mac had serious ability, as good as Jack McGrath at underage, but he had a number of serious injuries that essentially ruined his career, prior to leaving Ulster.

Timosi Nagusa a long way ahead Terblanche. No contest, Nagusa was lightning quick with serious power when at ulster. Terblanche was solid, but slow and on the verge of retirement.

Big-al wrote:Dewey came here as a Scottish international with a bright future and left a couple of seasons later failing to make the Ballynahnich (I think) 2nds.

One of ulsters worst signings.

Bryan Young at loosehead ahead of macklin and Mcallaater. Andy Warwick should be ahead of those 2 as well. Paddy Mac had serious ability, as good as Jack McGrath at underage, but he had a number of serious injuries that essentially ruined his career, prior to leaving Ulster.

Timosi Nagusa a long way ahead Terblanche. No contest, Nagusa was lightning quick with serious power when at ulster. Terblanche was solid, but slow and on the verge of retirement.

Dewey was a massive disappointment. He's not including the current squad hence no Warwick, Hendy etc. Terblanche was passed his best but still a quality operator for us. He seems to still have a lot of affection for Ulster despite his stint here being so short.

Don't know how I left out Bryan Young, good call.

I struggled with foreign centres, I have to admit. Dewey was at least an international even if he didn't have a great showing for us. I'd forgotten about Constable, he was a while ago, but he scored a fair number of tries.

Yeah, Ed O'Donoghue's a better choice than Mick, I was struggling for IQ second rows as well. Racking my brain - who's 2MP?

If we were to include current players, I'd have Andy Warwick at loosehead, Hendy ahead of Davidson in the second row, Big Stu and Hume in the centres and wee Mikey at fullback in the Ulster-born XV. In the IQ XV I'd put Herring in at hooker, Alan O'Connor in the second row, maybe Timoney ahead of Reidy, Cooney ahead of Boss and Burns ahead of Malone in the halfbacks. We still don't have any IQ wingers. And in the foreign XV I'd put Vermeulen ahead of Williams. Sutherland might make it in, but he hasn't played for us yet.

paddybrown wrote: ↑Wed Oct 12, 2022 10:47 am Don't know how I left out Bryan Young, good call.

I struggled with foreign centres, I have to admit. Dewey was at least an international even if he didn't have a great showing for us. I'd forgotten about Constable, he was a while ago, but he scored a fair number of tries.

Yeah, Ed O'Donoghue's a better choice than Mick, I was struggling for IQ second rows as well. Racking my brain - who's 2MP?

If we were to include current players, I'd have Andy Warwick at loosehead, Hendy ahead of Davidson in the second row, Big Stu and Hume in the centres and wee Mikey at fullback in the Ulster-born XV. In the IQ XV I'd put Herring in at hooker, Alan O'Connor in the second row, maybe Timoney ahead of Reidy, Cooney ahead of Boss and Burns ahead of Malone in the halfbacks. We still don't have any IQ wingers. And in the foreign XV I'd put Vermeulen ahead of Williams. Sutherland might make it in, but he hasn't played for us yet.

Who’s 2MP?

I was starting to like you Paddy…..

paddybrown wrote: ↑Wed Oct 12, 2022 10:47 am Don't know how I left out Bryan Young, good call.

I struggled with foreign centres, I have to admit. Dewey was at least an international even if he didn't have a great showing for us. I'd forgotten about Constable, he was a while ago, but he scored a fair number of tries.

Yeah, Ed O'Donoghue's a better choice than Mick, I was struggling for IQ second rows as well. Racking my brain - who's 2MP?

If we were to include current players, I'd have Andy Warwick at loosehead, Hendy ahead of Davidson in the second row, Big Stu and Hume in the centres and wee Mikey at fullback in the Ulster-born XV. In the IQ XV I'd put Herring in at hooker, Alan O'Connor in the second row, maybe Timoney ahead of Reidy, Cooney ahead of Boss and Burns ahead of Malone in the halfbacks. We still don't have any IQ wingers. And in the foreign XV I'd put Vermeulen ahead of Williams. Sutherland might make it in, but he hasn't played for us yet.

Not knowing who 2MP is.... the ruck inspector

What about an IQ XV versus a brain fart XV?

Big-al wrote: ↑Wed Oct 12, 2022 9:33 am
Timosi Nagusa a long way ahead Terblanche. No contest, Nagusa was lightning quick with serious power when at ulster. Terblanche was solid, but slow and on the verge of retirement.

The only way you retain any credibility with that comment is because Terblance was primarily a full back and not a wing - otherwise you're just wrong! Terblanche was a classy operator he really bought in to the Ulster ethos in his short time here, playing a crucial role in our run to the 2012 Euro final. Nagusa on the other hand disappeared when it got a bit wet or windy - nice guy, fast and good in the right conditions but not at Terblanche's level.

To have Piutau and Terblanche in the same side, I'd switch their positions

BJ ... out ... Robbie Kempson (those old enough to remember the Rev - incredible player)
IMHO - Harrison was the greatest plank of utter "talk over substance" ever seen in Ulster ... Mustchin, Del Fava or VD Merwe could actually play the game, I'd find some way of shoving Brosnihan in over thon Ossie tree.
Dewey ... in the name of all that's holy ... the therapy I needed to take to try and forget thon ... Surely Contsable at 13 and Steiny at 12.


Then I saw Grant Henderson in the mix ... and realised it was a joke thread....

It's always great fun to compile a complete a nightmare XV ... Rum's boys are as follows.


Big Joe and Rodney Ah Feck must be the props ... Andy Kershaw wasn't a prop but then no one knew this, or anything about him especially the Ulster staff who signed him ... Big Justin H returns in the second row to remind anyone who could be arsed listening to him that he is a total legend ... with Nakarawa to complete the ruck inspection engine room ... A mighty back row of Xavier Rush, Gavin Pfister and Tamaiti Horua may or may not even show up at the match. Brad Free releases the backs from 9 after the ball hatches ... at 10 ... a clear 6 miles deep deep behind the scrum as the crow flies NOC awaits, with Dewey on his shoulder to hit the reverse button or unleash the power of Clinton Shitkofski and WTF Bartholomusze with the legend Grant Henderson holding the fort at the back ...

Paul Emerick might make the 13 berth ... once his ban is lifted.

Some rubbish signed between 2007-2010!!!

Big-al wrote: ↑Wed Oct 12, 2022 2:52 pm Some rubbish signed between 2007-2010!!!

Even as we speak, there are some piles of more respectable rubbish taking extreme offence at the thoughts of being included in the criteria for being an Ulster NIQ in that time period.

Cornerfleg wrote:BJ ... out ... Robbie Kempson (those old enough to remember the Rev - incredible player)
IMHO - Harrison was the greatest plank of utter "talk over substance" ever seen in Ulster ... Mustchin, Del Fava or VD Merwe could actually play the game, I'd find some way of shoving Brosnihan in over thon Ossie tree.
Dewey ... in the name of all that's holy ... the therapy I needed to take to try and forget thon ... Surely Contsable at 13 and Steiny at 12.


Then I saw Grant Henderson in the mix ... and realised it was a joke thread....

It's always great fun to compile a complete a nightmare XV ... Rum's boys are as follows.


Big Joe and Rodney Ah Feck must be the props ... Andy Kershaw wasn't a prop but then no one knew this, or anything about him especially the Ulster staff who signed him ... Big Justin H returns in the second row to remind anyone who could be arsed listening to him that he is a total legend ... with Nakarawa to complete the ruck inspection engine room ... A mighty back row of Xavier Rush, Gavin Pfister and Tamaiti Horua may or may not even show up at the match. Brad Free releases the backs from 9 after the ball hatches ... at 10 ... a clear 6 miles deep deep behind the scrum as the crow flies NOC awaits, with Dewey on his shoulder to hit the reverse button or unleash the power of Clinton Shitkofski and WTF Bartholomusze with the legend Grant Henderson holding the fort at the back ...

Paul Emerick might make the 13 berth ... once his ban is lifted.

Forget Dahmer, Bundy, Manson...some properly terrifying names there, fleg. Think I might dress up as Clinton Shitkofki for Halloween.

You gotta feel for Sam Carter, he cant even make it to a Halloween team .... he's a nailed on 6th best in any list ... good, average or pants ... Rumour has it that Sam was picked as the 6th best solitaire player in his own toilet. Honourable mention to Faddes who was forgotten about mere seconds after he left ... breaking the record previously held by Sam Windsor and Jean Deysel.