Joke of the Day

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Jetstream
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Jetstream »

Tom Young changes career.

Tom Youngs: Leicester Tigers prostitute charged by RFU after Bristol incident | Rugby Union News https://t.co/7yytHmUs5I via @Insider
jean valjean
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by jean valjean »

Jetstream wrote:Tom Young changes career.

Tom Youngs: Leicester Tigers prostitute charged by RFU after Bristol incident | Rugby Union News https://t.co/7yytHmUs5I via @Insider
Took me a while to work out what was going on!! Autocorrect Image

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solidarity
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by solidarity »

yep. Took me a while as well but I got there in the end.
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Cap'n Grumpy
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Cap'n Grumpy »

I told my wife she needed to embrace her mistakes.



She gave me a hug.
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I'm just explaining why I'm right
armalig
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by armalig »

I sent off for an audiobook about cricket from a famous umpire ....so far I havent heard a dickie bird
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big mervyn
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by big mervyn »

A busker on the London underground has taught his dog to play the trumpet.

He went from Barking to Tooting in less than an hour.
Volunteer at an animal sanctuary; it will fill you with joy , despair, but most of all love, unconditional love of the animals.
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armalig
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by armalig »

Polce toay say they are nvestgatng a strng of ID thefts.....
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solidarity
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by solidarity »

Judging by the last two posts, the omens are not good for the new season!!!
armalig
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by armalig »

i always regret rubbing ketchup in my eyes as a kid...but thats Heinz sight for you
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Setanta
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by Setanta »

A pensioner drove his brand new BMW to 100 mph, looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him. He floored it to 140 , then 150, ... then 155, ... Suddenly he thought,
"I'm too old for this nonsense !"
So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.
The officer walked up to him, looked at his watch and said,
"Sir, my shift ends in ten minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend with my family. If you can give me a good reason that I've never heard before, why you were speeding... I'll let you go."
The Man looked very seriously at the police man, and replied :-
"Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman, I thought you were bringing her back." !!!
The Cop left saying,
" Have a good day, Sir "...
From the rolling glens of Antrim through the hills of Donegal we will stand and shout for Ulster as we win both scrum and maul from the lovely lakes of Fermanagh tae the shores of ould Lough Gall we will scream and shout for Ulster as we beat them one and all!
armalig
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by armalig »

Bought a 50" TV on EBAY that was missing its remote - to watch the match tomoorow night .....at that price I couldn`t turn it down.. :roll:
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mid ulster maestro
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by mid ulster maestro »

Novak Djokovic has been appointed England cricket coach. They agree he knows very little about cricket but are impressed that Austrailia took three weeks to get him out!
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solidarity
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by solidarity »

The last ten minutes of that match!

A real joke.
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big mervyn
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by big mervyn »

The Conservative Party is to be rebranded as the Conservative Work Event
Volunteer at an animal sanctuary; it will fill you with joy , despair, but most of all love, unconditional love of the animals.
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UlsterNo9
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Re: Joke of the Day

Post by UlsterNo9 »

Serious question, how long will chicken keep in the freezer?

I put two in last night and they were both dead when I looked this morning.
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