Joke of the Day
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- big mervyn
- Rí na Cúige Uladh
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- Joined: Fri May 09, 2008 2:22 pm
- Location: Overlooking the pitch (til they built the old new stand)
Re: Joke of the Day
Man: Do you have the book Living With a Small Penis?
Librarian: I don't think it's in yet.
Man: Yeah, that's the one
Librarian: I don't think it's in yet.
Man: Yeah, that's the one
Volunteer at an animal sanctuary; it will fill you with joy , despair, but most of all love, unconditional love of the animals.
Big Neville Southall
Big Neville Southall
Re: Joke of the Day
I have my own tv channel, what have you got?
- big mervyn
- Rí na Cúige Uladh
- Posts: 14465
- Joined: Fri May 09, 2008 2:22 pm
- Location: Overlooking the pitch (til they built the old new stand)
Re: Joke of the Day
I had eczema, diarrhoea and haemorrhoids last weekend!!!!
My best game of Scrabble ever!
Was going to post some jokes about cash machines.
But cannot think of any ATM.
I started a yacht building business in my garage.
Sails have gone through the roof.
My friend keeps saying, "Cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."
I know he means well.
Just bought myself a pen that writes underwater.
It writes other words too
Just had a blazing row with the missus and in a temper she threw a bottle of fabric conditioner at me...
I think it must have been Lenor, because it was a bit too close for Comfort
My best game of Scrabble ever!
Was going to post some jokes about cash machines.
But cannot think of any ATM.
I started a yacht building business in my garage.
Sails have gone through the roof.
My friend keeps saying, "Cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."
I know he means well.
Just bought myself a pen that writes underwater.
It writes other words too
Just had a blazing row with the missus and in a temper she threw a bottle of fabric conditioner at me...
I think it must have been Lenor, because it was a bit too close for Comfort
Volunteer at an animal sanctuary; it will fill you with joy , despair, but most of all love, unconditional love of the animals.
Big Neville Southall
Big Neville Southall
- Kofi Annan
- Lord Chancellor
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Re: Joke of the Day
I introduced the new guy to everyone in the office .
I said "everybody this is Chris he's going to be working with us, he may have difficulty understanding us he's a mongol"
At which point Libby the feminazi lept up and ranted "you're an utter disgrace to describe Chris that way, I would have said Chris has downs syndrome and learning difficulties".
Then Chris head butted Libby square in the face.
Guys from Ulaanbaatar don't take insults lightly .
I said "everybody this is Chris he's going to be working with us, he may have difficulty understanding us he's a mongol"
At which point Libby the feminazi lept up and ranted "you're an utter disgrace to describe Chris that way, I would have said Chris has downs syndrome and learning difficulties".
Then Chris head butted Libby square in the face.
Guys from Ulaanbaatar don't take insults lightly .
“For the liespotter who knows how to listen well, the random words, sounds, and phrases in a person's speech are never as random as they seem. They offer a clear sightline into the liar's psyche.”
- Cap'n Grumpy
- Rí na Cúige Uladh
- Posts: 15701
- Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2008 4:21 pm
- Location: second barrier up, at the half-way line ... or is the third?
Re: Joke of the Day
I heard that Chris accumulates things and stores them away ...
I'm not arguing -
I'm just explaining why I'm right
I'm just explaining why I'm right
- Cap'n Grumpy
- Rí na Cúige Uladh
- Posts: 15701
- Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2008 4:21 pm
- Location: second barrier up, at the half-way line ... or is the third?
Re: Joke of the Day
From the reaction, it looks like "The Mongol Hoards/Hordes" is/are as welcome as it/they ever were!Cap'n Grumpy wrote:I heard that Chris accumulates things and stores them away ...
I'm not arguing -
I'm just explaining why I'm right
I'm just explaining why I'm right
Re: Joke of the Day
Can you show me the way to Larne “ he said
His hand upon her knee
“ I know the way to Larne “ she said
“ But not going Larne — on me”
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
His hand upon her knee
“ I know the way to Larne “ she said
“ But not going Larne — on me”
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Within this carapace of skepticism there lives an optimist
Re: Joke of the Day
I have my own tv channel, what have you got?
Re: Joke of the Day
I have my own tv channel, what have you got?
Re: Joke of the Day
Merv
The joke about the cash machine
I thought the punch line was going to be
I haven't found one yet
The joke about the cash machine
I thought the punch line was going to be
I haven't found one yet
Within this carapace of skepticism there lives an optimist
Re: Joke of the Day
An ATM in Ulster is also known as a
A hole in the wall
A hole in the wall
Within this carapace of skepticism there lives an optimist
- Cap'n Grumpy
- Rí na Cúige Uladh
- Posts: 15701
- Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2008 4:21 pm
- Location: second barrier up, at the half-way line ... or is the third?
Re: Joke of the Day
I may have used this one before, but it's a bit quiet around here ...
Q: How do you think the unthinkable?
A: With an itheberg!
Q: How do you think the unthinkable?
A: With an itheberg!
I'm not arguing -
I'm just explaining why I'm right
I'm just explaining why I'm right
- big mervyn
- Rí na Cúige Uladh
- Posts: 14465
- Joined: Fri May 09, 2008 2:22 pm
- Location: Overlooking the pitch (til they built the old new stand)
Re: Joke of the Day
The Pope is having a special service of healing.
Paddy comes forward and says "Holy Father can you help me with my hearing?"
The Pontiff lays his hands on Paddy's head, prays for a minute and says "How's your hearing now?"
Paddy says "I don't know, I'm not in court 'til next Wednesday!"
Paddy comes forward and says "Holy Father can you help me with my hearing?"
The Pontiff lays his hands on Paddy's head, prays for a minute and says "How's your hearing now?"
Paddy says "I don't know, I'm not in court 'til next Wednesday!"
Volunteer at an animal sanctuary; it will fill you with joy , despair, but most of all love, unconditional love of the animals.
Big Neville Southall
Big Neville Southall
Re: Joke of the Day
Mummy!!!! Mummy !!! Can I lick the bowl?
No ---
Flush it like everyone else
No ---
Flush it like everyone else
Within this carapace of skepticism there lives an optimist
- rorybestsbigbaldnoggin
- Red Hand Ambassador
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